


smells like dad spirit

by farthendur



Category: GOT7
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Awkwardness, First Meetings, M/M, Sex Toys, Single Dads AU, Single Parents, and aged down, established markjin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/farthendur/pseuds/farthendur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Single Dads!AU where Jaebum and Jackson are awkward but very hot and very into each other and their sons can't stop rolling their eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hello

**Author's Note:**

  * For [birdsintokyo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdsintokyo/gifts).



> inspired by [this post](http://defwang.tumblr.com/post/143307156400/ok-but-single-dadsjackbum-au) and will, hopefully, be updated and finished very soon

There’s a particular smell to schools, like lockers and stairs and classrooms and I doubt anyone knows exactly where it comes from because, objectively, lockers and stairs and classrooms alone don’t smell the way a school smells. And frankly, a high school smells differently to a middle school or an elementary school. Is it the kids? Is it the different materials in classrooms? Who knows?

Jaebum for-fucking-sure doesn’t, not right now, at least. He strides through the main corridor and takes the stairs to the second floor two at a time, marching down to the Principal’s office. He spots his son and his best friend, Bambam, sprawled in chairs in front of the office, eating out of a giant bag of cheeto puffs boredly, and he tugs Yugyeom out of his chair unceremoniously. He doesn’t have time for this.

“Dad—“

“Yugyeom-ah, are you okay? You’re not hurt anywhere? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this, okay?” and before the boy can respond, Jaebum is crossing the threshold of the office.

“Good day, I’m Im Jaebum, Yugyeom’s father, I’m here to speak to the principal,” Jaebum states to the secretary in the parlor of the office. She smiles at him and begins to say something, but he really doesn’t have time for this, seeing that the door to the principal’s office is open, “That’s his office, right? We shouldn’t take long.”

Jaebum flashes a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and nudges Yugyeom towards the open door.

“Dad, wait, listen—“

“Mr. Principal, hello,” Jaebum is already stopping a pace from the principal’s desk and introducing himself professionally. Yugyeom steps into the office too, sighing in exasperation. This has all gone so wrong.

“It’s nice to see you, Mr. Im, though I would have appreciated it if you had waited outside,” the principal is a thin man with an oblong face and glasses with circular lenses. Jaebum’s had a good impression of him in the past and he hopes this entire mess doesn’t complicate things. He doesn’t want to create any bias against Yugyeom, but he also will _not_ let them accuse his angelic son of things he wouldn’t do.

“I was hoping we could quickly clear up the issues, so I can take Yugyeom home. I see he’s not hurt, but I don’t want to make assumptions. Now, on the phone I was told that he instigated a fight and hit another student, but I’m sure there must be a misunderstanding, since Yugyeom—“

“Dad, wait, can I—“

“Bambam, hi, let’s go in, they’ve started without us. Are you hurt anywhere? Hello!” a platinum blond man in dark jeans and a white button down with a soft sweater on top walks in just then smiling apologetically and Jaebum is feeling very attacked. “I’m Wang Jackson, I’m Bambam’s father, I’m so sorry for being late, traffic was awful.”

The world is throwing way too much in Jaebum’s direction today. His eyebrows crease in confusion as he tries to focus on something other than how glowingly handsome this Wang Jackson is --- Bambam’s father? In the principal’s office (looking dazzling) with him? Then who—

“I got a call about a fight Bambam was in, is everything okay? Is the other person hurt?” Wang Jackson continues, glancing between the people in the office, and Jaebum is even more perplexed.

“It wasn’t really a fight, dad, we—“ Bambam starts but is cut off by Jaebum.

“Wait, you fought with Bambam? What?!” he turns to Yugyeom.

“We—“

“Mr. Wang, Mr. Im, please take a seat and hear me out. Yugyeom, Bambam, please wait outside.”

Jaebum settles into one of the chairs with so many questions in his head. He is entirely too tired for all of this.

“The fight was between Yugyeom and Bambam? But they’re best friends. Or is there a third person involved?”

“Oh, the fight was between the two of them?” Wang Jackson’s gorgeous face is surprised too, as he takes a seat. “I thought Yugyeom was just here because they’re friends. You’re Yugyeom’s father? Haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you before, I’m Jackson, Bambam’s father.”

Jackson extends a hand and Jaebum tries to smile as he shakes it and bows, feeling quite warm under the collar of his work button down.

“The fight was between Bambam and Yugyeom, indeed. I want to clarify, since I know they are best friends, from what one of our teachers saw it wasn’t anything too serious, but Bambam did hit his head on the wall,” the principal explains and both fathers listen intently. “Now, obviously this is not a huge deal and the most the two will be getting out of this is a day or two of detention, but the reason I called you in is that I know they’re not violent kids, I know they’re usually very sweet and a pleasure to have in class, so I just wanted to make sure you know about what happened and make sure it’s addressed in the context of the their friendship.”

Both men have swelled up with pride just a little bit. Damn right his Yugyeomie is a pleasure to have in class, Jaebum thinks. Even though he’s still a little confused about what could have happened to cause a spat between the two boys, his attention is almost completely hogged by the way Jackson’s lips move as he speaks to the principal. His hair is pushed back and his big eyes look beautiful and earnest. Jaebum has heard things about him from Yugyeom, though he’s never met him despite their sons’ long friendship. He knows Bambam’s dad is a single father like him, having adopted Bambam some years back from Thailand. He knows Bambam’s dad is a funny dude, likes to spoil the kids a little bit and owns a couple of restaurants around Seoul, but he certainly did _not_ know that Bambam’s dad is smoking hot.

“Right, well, both boys got checked out by our nurse and they don’t seem to be hurt. They both insisted nothing happened and were really upset I decided to call you. And no, we still don’t really know what started it. They wouldn’t say,” the principal explain and Jackson’s confusion is adorable.

Jaebum is inspired for the first time in a long while.

“Well, I assure you this will be addressed and won’t happen again. I’m sure it was just kids being kids. In fact, would you like to come over for dinner tonight, Jackson-ssi? You and Bambam,” Jaebum clarifies for some reason and it cracks his confidence because what is he doing honestly. He hopes his voice doesn’t betray him, “I was going to make us a big dinner to celebrate the end of the week, so it will be the perfect occasion for you two to join us.”

“That sounds—“

“The two of you and your partner, of course,” Jaebum adds and feels lamer than ever. He knows Bambam doesn’t have any siblings, but how could he just assume Jackson is single? What in the world is he even doing, pining over his son’s best friend’s dad, promising a big dinner—

“Ah, it will be just me and Bambam, it’s just the two of us,” Jackson replies, blushing to only a fraction of the red that colors Jaebum’s face. “But yes, we would love that! I can’t believe I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you before, Jaebum-ssi! Yugyeom talks about you often when he comes over.”

Jackson smiles and his eyes dart between Jaebum and the principal. Jaebum is feeling a little lightheaded because he just kinda sorta asked someone out and that someone is the father of his son’s best friend who doesn’t really know he was just asked out.

The principal rises from his seat and the two men follow. Jaebum keeps squeezing his sports jacket between his sweaty fingers.

“Well, in that case, I trust that the issue, whatever it is, will be resolved. I wanted to make sure we don’t let anything negative grow between Bambam and Yugyeom,” the principal clasps his hands in front of his body. “Thank you both for coming in, I hope I didn’t scare you too much on the phone.”

“It’s not every day you get a call your son’s been in a fight, but I personally wasn’t too unnerved,” Jaebum smiles thinly, but his gaze only grazes the principal, lingering on Jackson instead.

They bow their goodbyes and Jaebum holds the door open for Jackson with a killer smile. Jackson fumbles for a second, then thanks him and runs his palms over his jeans, as though he’s wiping them.

“Dad, whatever they told you, it’s _not—“_

“Yugyeom-ah, Jackson-ssi and Bambam will be coming over for dinner tonight,” Jaebum announces once he and Jackson are in the hallway and has to resist the urge to pat a hand on Jackson’s shoulders. “I was planning on making us a big Friday dinner anyway, so they’ll join us and we can figure out whatever happened between you two today.”

Yugyeom and Bambam look about as confused as their fathers were ten minutes ago.

“Bam-ah, come on, let’s head out, I have to finish planning a banquet for tomorrow. Do you need to pick up anything from your locker?” Jackson asks, reaching into the almost empty bag of Cheetos his son is holding.

“Yeah, I have to get my books,” Bambam mumbles, meeting the question marks in Yugyeom’s eyes with some of his own.

“Do you have everything?” Jaebum asks his son and Yugyeom answers positively. “Great, we’ll be going then. It was great meeting you, Jackson-ssi! We’ll see you two at…eight-thirty?” the taller man extends a hand.

“Ah, sorry,” Jackson, who had been licking Cheeto dust off his fingers and almost giving Jaebum a meltdown, fumbles again and smiles apologetically, “my hand is all gross. It was very nice meeting you as well, Jaebum-ssi, eight-thirty will work just fine,” Jackson bows and Jaebum bows back and nudges Yugyeom towards the stairs, ever the picture of chic coolness.

“We look forward to it!” Jackson calls.

 

“Making a big Friday dinner? _You?!”_ Yugyeom almost yells out as soon as they reach the first floor and Jaebum shushes him. “Dad, the only things you can cook are ramyun and fried eggs!”

Jaebum continues down the hall towards the exit seemingly unphased. He’s panicking enough on the inside that he doesn’t need Yugyeom’s questioning right now.

 

Jaebum is deep in thought as he drives them home, calculating if he has enough time to go home, look up a simple but impressive recipe, go shopping _and_ prepare both the meal and a back up take out plan. Yugyeom has, thankfully, sensed it’s better not to speak. Too much.

“Dad,” he starts carefully, “are you mad?”

Jaebum glances over, “No, no, I’m not mad. I mean, I’m a little disappointed. But I’m not mad. Your principal told us this was more—“ Jaebum is about to explain everything the principal said but catches himself, makes sure his words “address” the issue. “He explained to us that what happened wasn’t very serious, though we still need to talk about why you would get into a fight. With Bambam of all people.”

“We didn’t—It wasn’t like that! We just— Ugh!” Yugyeom gives up on whatever he was trying to say and slumps in his seat, arms crossed in frustration. Jaebum glances at him when his phone vibrates in his lap.

“Bambam is wondering what dinner you’re talking about too,” Yugyeom mumbles after checking his messages, voice amused. “He knows you can’t cook for shit too, dad.”

“Language,” Jaebum warns and his panic grows just a little more. “Tell him not to tell his dad. I’ve got things up my sleeve, okay?”

He really doesn’t.

Yugyeom is quiet for another five minutes, regarding his father curiously out of the corner of his eye.

“Dad, are you into Bambam’s dad?”

Jaebum almost swerves into the car in the next lane.

 

 


	2. I Feel Stupid, And Contagious - I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said this will be short and updated very, very fast, but here we are. It was the end of the semester and I really don't know what I was thiking. I'm sorry! I will do my best to be better about this from now on!

“Okay, dad, listen, just calm down, okay?” Yugyeom calls as Jaebum slams the car door and presses the alarm lock button.

Jaebum heads up the sidewalk without looking back. He’s reaching for the doorknob of their garden gate when it comes to him – how could he have forgotten?!

“Yugyeomie, wait, you can cook. Your cooking is at least a bit better than mine,” Jaebum whips around. Yugyeom pauses a step away, looking up at him under his wavy fringe. He looks a bit lost, all dressed up and proper in his navy-blue school uniform. Jaebum is suddenly so thankful, “You can help me put something together. You always show me those recipes you save that you know we’re never gonna make, you have a folder of them, right? Let’s go in quickly and choose one.”

Jaebum is at the door to their side of the small complex in no time, while Yugyeom drags his feet behind him. The boy wants to say something, is kind of annoyed he’s getting dragged into helping his dad make good on a dumb offer he made just to impress (?) Bambam’s dad, but he knows it’s better not to counter Jaeubm at that moment, it’s better to breach the subject when they’re in a more peaceful environment.

 

“Yugi, come on, we don’t have time, I still need to go shopping!” Jaebum calls from the living room to Yugyeom who is washing up in the bathroom. The boy rolls his eyes and snatches the towel from the rack. Friday afternoons are supposed to be very lazy chill time where he and Jaebum melt into their couch, sleep, play video games or watch movies together and order more takeout than they can finish before Sunday. Not “save your dad from making a fool out of himself cause he has a crush” time.

Jaebum already has their shared tablet open by the time Yugyeom pads into the living room.

“Log in and pull up your bookmarks, so we can choose something,” he says and hands Yugyeom the tablet. The boy flops next his dad with a sigh. Jaebum continues to rant, looking wound up and tired and just a little bit disheveled in his white button down-gray cardigan outfit, “Okay what’s that, wait, “Garlic Herb Stuffed Pork Chops”? That sounds good, right? F-fancy enough? We could probably-- find all the ingredients. Open it, please. Yeah, that looks good, not too complicated. You can uh, probably do the mixing, right? And I’ll—I’ll help stuff the pork chops and b-bake them. Okay, yeah, it looks pretty fancy too, r-right? We can make some rice maybe? As a s-side dish. Okay, can you get paper and a pencil so I can write this down? Wait, I’ll go get some. They should have all of the products at that big grocery store down um—uh—“

Jaebum’s stream of words continues as he flips through the kitchen drawers for something to write on and Yugyeom sighs, settling back into the cushions and opening up “Fruit Ninja”.

 

 

Two and a half hours later and Jaebum is wiping his fingers on a paper towel, chucking it in general direction of their open trashcan and propping his hands on his waist to watch Yugyeom place the pork chops in the sizzling oil with barely concealed anxiety.

“Let me fry them, let me do it, the oil will burn you,” he says, stepping up to the stove, but Yugyeom doesn’t budge.

“You know you’ll mess something up if I let you do it, dad, just—“

“Fine.”

Yugyeom himself doesn’t seem to be the best at it, but with a decent amount of wiggling and jerking out of the way of spraying oil, he manages to brown the pork chops before yelling at his father to get the baking dish ready. They stand in front of the closed oven for a moment before Jaebum delegates tasks in cleaning the kitchen and setting the table. Yugyeom drags his feet across their tiles as he throws the tablecloth over the table.

“Dad,” he starts picking his words though not too carefully, “you know Bambam and his dad aren’t gonna care about whatever we make, right? Why are we making this so— _special_?”

Jaebum feels his face heating up and ducks into a counter to rummage for a new sponge. Not thinking about the actual reason why he is acting like a schoolboy with a crush is beyond difficult, but he’s in already and there’s no backing out now. And besides, he can allow himself to try for something more, he has the right to—well, make a new friend at least, Jackson is his son’s best friend’s father, this is also good for their sons and why not go all out for once? Why not try a little harder in the kitchen, do something nicer than takeout? It’s not that—

“Do you want me to ask Bambam if his dad likes you too?” Yugyeom asks, voice quiet and Jaebum realizes he never replied to his son’s question.

“No!” he whips around quickly enough to spray soap foam all over the counter. “No, don’t do that, and I’m not—Just, listen, I think Bambam’s dad seems like a very nice person, and you’ve told me he is too. Why can’t we just have a more—a more special dinner for once?” Yugyeom continues to set glasses down with an unhappy expression. “Whatever happened between you and Bambam today, maybe you need a little more—a kind of a bonding experience like this,” Jaebum finishes lamely.

“We didn’t—nothing happened!” Yugyeom slams a cup on the table and Jaebum turns to give him a sharp look. “We didn’t _actually_ fight…”

“Well, whatever happened, we can talk about it later, point is—“

“We didn’t fight though! Nothing happened, it’s…it’s stupid.”

Jaebum is ready to dismiss the whole thing in favor of looking through his alcohol cupboard – he’s tired, he’s stressed out, he’s potentially doing something _really_ dumb that can only end in him making a fool out of himself – but something in Yugyeom’s tone has a light of very mild alarm blinking on the Father Instincts dashboard.

He turns to see Yugyeom set down the last fork and set out towards the living room, “Hold on, wait. Yugyeom-ah, wait a second. Do you wanna tell me what happened? Let’s—We can talk about it now if you want, we don’t necessarily have to bring it up at dinner. I mean, we do, but maybe it’s better if I know what happened, if we talk about it in advance.”

Yugyeom shuffles back into the kitchen, face going a little red. He rests a stray hand on the table, fidgeting with the tablecloth, and Jaebum leans against the counter, not sure what to expect. Yugyeom’s eyes stay on the tiled floor.

“Remember…A couple of weeks ago, um, do you—d’you remember when we talked about…” the boy lets out a deep sigh and Jaebum shifts because no, he doesn’t remember, what the hell did they talk about that could have prompted a fight between the two teenagers, “Okay, remember how I told you that Bambam told me that his dad also likes guys and then we had that talk?” the sentence shoots out of Yugyeom’s mouth in one breath. Jaebum’s brow furrows and the color of his face slowly moves to matching the redness of Yugyeom’s.

“Bambam and I—We—“ Yugyeom lets out a pained groan and Jaebum wants to try to make it easier for him, but he is beyond worried and mortified and what if Yugyeom said something homophobic or what if – “We wanted to see what it’s like to kiss another guy, okay?!” with that shout the boy drops into a chair, arms crossed. Jaebum doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry. Another light blinks with a beep on the Father Instincts dashboard and he tries to rein himself in.

“Oh,” is all that he manages. They just wanted to see—Because Jackson’s dad—

“That’s all that happened, we didn’t fight,” the boy reiterated pointedly.

“So why did they call us for a fight?”

Yugyeom is silent in the face of his father’s confusion for a minute, “Because we—Bambam’s idea was that we just try it out in the little amphitheater cause usually no one is there, so we like to hang out there, and he said just in case someone did walk by we should pretend that we’re fighting. And of course, a teacher walked by right at that moment.”

There are times in the life of a father when a father just needs a drink. Often, they are a product of other times in the life of a father, times that are a natural part of various stages that might occur in the life of a father with respect to the father’s relationship with their child. There are times in the life of a father. Times.

Jaebum pulls a chair at the table and sits to face his son who is staring holes into his hands.

“I really don’t know what say,” Jaebum speaks up mildly. He wants to laugh, but he doesn’t want to offend his son, so he opts for a small smile.

“I told you it’s stupid!” Yugyeom seethes in frustration and pushes his chair back with a screech to screech against the tiles.

“Wait, wait! It’s not stupid, wait, sit down…!”

“Like hell it isn’t…”

“Listen, I mean, it’s kind of funny, to be honest. Wouldn’t you say?” Jaebum tries as he scrambles to order his thoughts and Yugyeom shrugs a little, arms crossed on his chest again. He glances at his dad as the man continues speaking, “It’s not stupid, it’s—you just wanted to try something, you didn’t do anything bad. Now, the _way_ you decided to do it…you’ve done smarter things in your life.”

Yugyeom slowly mirrors his amused smile and lets his hands fall into his lap, “Seriously, dad, I told him it was a dumb idea, we should’ve just tried it at home or something, but he never listens, you know how he is.”

“Oh, and you do listen?” Jaebum taunts and Yugyeom shoves at his knee. “Don’t swing at your father, boy, who’s gonna feed you if it’s not for me.”

“I cook half of the time, dad, and we get takeout the other half!” the teenager raises his voice a little too much than is really necessary for the budding headache Jaebum is trying to stifle, but the man is glad the tension is gone. Yugyeom continues more quietly after a moment, “I don’t know, like, when you said—When you told me you l-like guys too, I thought…Ugh, cause, I don’t know, I just. Bambam and I were wondering if since both you and his dad like guys, maybe we like guys too...”

They’re silent for a moment.

“So what did you find out?”

Yugyeom makes a grossed out face, “I don’t know, it was weird. Like—it was weird, I don’t know, with—with girls it’s nice, but this was kind of weird.”

Jaebum laughs. Something in his chest is warm with affection, “Maybe it was just weird cause it was with Bambam,” he suggest and Yugyeom pretends to shudder. “Or maybe neither of you knows how to kiss.”

“Hey!”

“Yah, what do you know about kissing! Huh!” Jaebum continues to tease and Yugyeom makes to wrestle him for a couple of minutes.

“I’m not mad, okay, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” the man rubs a hand over the boy’s back after their little chair-sparring session dies down. “I can talk to Jackson-sshi if you want me to. And about whether or not you like guys, sometimes you can’t tell just from kissing your best friend. Just—you know, stay open to possibilities and who knows what might happen.”

“I don’t know, dad, I don’t think I’m into guys. Bambam might be, but I don’t think I am,” Yugyeom concludes, standing up to check on the pork chops. Jaebum smiles fondly, “How did you know you like guys?” Jaebum isn’t smiling fondly anymore.

He clears his throat and tries to form a response, red in the face yet again, “Well, I think I always sort of knew in the back of my mind,” he begins and he can’t quite believe he’s having this conversation with his son, “but I always thought—I guess, um, I always thought I would only date girls in my life.” He clears his throat again. Yugyeom has returned to his seat and is watching him with wide-eyed interest. And he thought he was mortified before, “When I went to university…I, uh, had some experiences with guys and I dated one very briefly. Then I met your mom. But…I mean, throughout our marriage I still…you know, sometimes I thought a guy was…attractive.”

“Ew, dad!” Yugyeom makes a face but looks thoughtful as he plays with the oven mitten.

“Your mom liked girls as well, you know,” Jaebum clears his throat again and tries very hard not to ask himself why on Earth he’s still going about this, bringing up his wife too. “People of all genders, actually.”

His son’s eyes are wide, “What do you mean?”

Jaebum seeks out the right words, “It’s called being pansexual. She liked people of, um…all gender identities. Kind of like—well, regardless of what, of what their genitals are.”

Yugyeom stares for the longest time. Jaebum is getting ready to finally change the topic and take a gulp of fresh air when the teen speaks up.

“But she married you…?”

“Well, yeah, but—“ Jaebum can already feel where this is going.

“So how did she know she likes girls too then? And like, people of all genders?”

The man sighs and takes a moment, “Well, first of all, sometimes you don’t—you don’t _need_ to have tried, to have had experiences with ah, a person of a certain gender to know that you’re attracted to people of that gender. You know? And even though your mom married me, that doesn’t mean she stopped finding people of all genders attractive. Just marrying your mom doesn’t make me not—“ Jaebum spreads his hands, “Marrying your mom doesn’t mean I’m not bisexual.”

Yugyeom is nodding slowly again. Seeing his dad open up as much is rare.

Jaebum takes a deep breath.

“I guess that makes sense,” the boy concludes and his father exhales.

“Yugi, do you want me to see if I can find you some books about this? Or some things online, if you want to read up in a little more detail,” Jaebum asks after a minute.

“Nah, it’s cool, I can look it up myself.”

Jaebum makes a face, picturing some of the possible results of a google search on bisexuality, “Ehh, I’d rather look it up for you. Make sure I find accurate sources, you know.”

“It’s fine, dad, you’ve told me what I need to know,” Yugyeom says and Jaebum shrugs ‘okay’, but makes a mental note to do it anyway.

“Alright, how are those pork chops turning out? Should we start the rice, too? Hey, do we have ice cream?” He gets up to peer into the oven.

 

“Turn the volume down! Grab—grab the remote and turn it down, Yugyeom!” Jaebum stops by the mirror in the hallway to give himself a last one-over, running his fingers through his hair. The purple button down was a good choice under the grey cardigan, he concludes, and pads to the door just as Yugyeom materializes next to him.

The door swings open and Jaebum is very ready to launch into an appropriate, very polite and warm welcome, but Jackson looks breathtaking in a tight button down under a leather jacket, so Jaebum falters and stares wide eyed for a couple of long seconds before gathering himself.

“J-jackson—sshi, Bambam, hi! Come on in, thank welcome, thank you for coming!” and he almost reaches out to shake Jackson’s hand after bowing a couple of times but realizes he just invited them in, so steps back to fully open the door and almost steps on Yugyeom’s foot. Wrapped up in smiling at Jackson’s bow once the guests are inside, Jaebum misses the meaningful look the two teenagers share.

“I wasn’t sure how formal of a dinner this was gonna be, I’m glad I didn’t misjudge,” Jackson says after taking off his shoes, gesturing at Jaebum’s outfit. Jaebum can only make a sound of understanding and laugh awkwardly. He clears his throat after he notices that the boys are waiting in front of the living room door.

“Yes, um, we can have dinner first, if you’d like, and then you boys can hang out? Or if you’re not hungry yet,” he glances between Bambam and his stunning dad, “we can just chill in front of the TV for a bit first? I can get us a drink, Jackson-sshi, if—“

“Dad, can you not say “chill”, please…”

“—you drink. What do you prefer, I think I have soju and wine and maybe some beer. I might have whiskey too somewhere, uh…”

“I actually brought you this,” Jackson raises an arm and there’s a bottle of red wine between his fingers that Jaebum completely failed to notice. “Thought it might be appropriate for a first dinner like this.”

Jackson smiles warmly and Jaebum is dazed and definitely reading too much into this. He takes the bottle and thanks the angel standing in the flesh in his very house. Bambam rolls his eyes and announces he’s hungry.

Dinner is uneventful, interesting, delicious and painfully awkward all at the same time. The older men are almost stumbling over each other, one trying to be the perfect, smoothest host, the other struggling to help at every step and somehow crack the atmosphere. Bambam shakes his head watching his dad be completely uncharacteristically stiff, jokes reaching and falling a little flat, and none of his typical playfulness towards the teenagers present. At one point, a glass is almost knocked off the table and the boys snicker at the ensuing scrambling for who will save it first.

They make it through dinner somehow, and as Jaebum brings out ice cream, Yugyeom getting up to help, Jackson brings up the fight that was the catalyst for all of this.

“Daaaaad!” groans erupt from around the room immediately and Jackson raises his hands in defeat.

“Jackson-sshi, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Jaebum tries to placate, “And you two don’t need to be so loud! I have—I received some insight into what caused the fight—“

“It wasn’t a _fight_!”

“—the mishap, is that better? The mishap. Jackson-sshi, I will tell you about it later, don’t wo—“

“NO!”

“You’re NOT telling him what happened!”

“Ugh, _dad_ , I tell you _one_ thing!”

“Fine, fine, fine! Can we stop yelling?” Jaebum raises his voice. He can see a smile tugging at the corner of Jackson’s mouth, amidst all the confusion on his face. “I’m not going to tell him what happened, I’ll just briefly explain why it’s not that big of a deal, will that work? Fine?”

“Fine,” Yugyeom grumbles in response, eyeing Bambam.

“Let’s dig into this ice cream, we’ll worry about everything else later, who even though it would be a good idea to bring up tense topics like that during dinner?” Jackson concludes, accepting a bowl of ice cream from Jaebum. Jaebum smiles at him almost fondly and this time it’s Yugyeom who rolls his eyes.

“That was a very delicious dinner, Jaebum-hyung. Very different from what you usually make when I’m over,” Bambam says when they’re all done and it’s only the men’s wine glasses that remain half-full. The boys erupt in a fit of giggles and Jaebum almost – _almost_ – falls into the trap that the demons that are determined to destroy every shred of his dignity have set for him.

“I just know that you kids wouldn’t appreciate specialties, so I save meals like these for when we have special guests over,” he says and blushes to the tips of his toes when he realizes what he’s said, rushing to appear Cool™ again. “I’m glad to hear you like it though!”

Yugyeom is glaring at him and opening his mouth to say something undoubtedly horrible when Jackson speaks up, “Ah, I always forget you call Jaebum-sshi “hyung”… Anyways, I thought dinner was great too!”

“Thanks, I’m glad to hear that! And you can call me “hyung” too,” Jaebum says, smiles, picks up his dirty plate, walks towards the sink and curses the day he was born.

 

The boys shuffle out of the kitchen not too long after, going off to find something to do and leaving their fathers to finish putting away the dishes. The silence in the kitchen is thick enough to cut with a knife as Jaebum feels the tip of his ears burning and avoids looking at Jackson’s as though the sight of him will set his retinas ablaze.

Naturally, Jackson clears his throat first, “Thanks for inviting us over, again, I can’t believe we haven’t met before. Bambam and Yugyeom have been friends for, what—is it two years now? Three?”

Jaebum hardly trusts his voice, “Yeah, I think about three.”

Jackson places another plate in the sink, “Yeah… I guess we’re both busy men. Yugyeom talks about you sometimes, though! I’ve heard great things about you.”

“Well,” the older man smiles awkwardly, opening up the dishwasher. Jackson eyes him.

“Yeah! Bambam’s told me great things too, about what an interesting man Yugyeom’s dad is. Says—“

“Dad! Jaebum-hyung!”

“No, don’t—“

“Daddy!” Bambam’s voice reaches them from the living room. “Come play board games with us! We need more players.”

Jackson shoots Jaebum a questioning look and Jaebum shrugs with an attempt at small, probably ridiculously lame smile.

 

Forty-five minutes of racing to save the world in Pandemic proves to be the cure for the plague of awkwardness clutching Jaebum and Jackson in its stiff arms. That, and another glass of wine among the loud bickering/teamwork of their teen sons dispels the tension between them to an acceptable degree. Once they’ve managed to understand all the rules and begun forming a strategy, Jaebum’s natural ability to organize team efforts shines through. He talks more, he explains patiently, he pauses to lay out possible courses of action and listen to the boys’ frustrated groans about how they’ve already tried this or that before and it _just doesn’t work, dad, it’s more complicated, you run out of city cards!_ The man’s handsome face is even more striking as he tries to concentrate and think five turns ahead.

Bambam almost misses it, but he stops to smile wide and nudge Yugyeom when Jackson’s jokes finally begin to successfully crack the awkwardness too, when Jaebum smiles at the blond man’s playful competitiveness. Between cure discoveries, epidemic breakouts and frantic card trading, Jaebum relaxes even more, cheering along with everyone rather than just throwing uncomfortable furtive glances at Jackson. Jackson himself seems to have shrugged off restraints, reaching out to pat Jaebum’s arm as they laugh about his drawing yet another epidemic that infects most of Africa and almost sets off a chain reaction, high fiving him later on, leaning into him and pretending to be whispering conspiratorially in his ear (thereby nearly causing his heart to burst out of his chest) to their sons’ frustrated yells.

They end up losing, but it’s a relatively quiet defeat, surprisingly enough with how competitive all of them can get.

“It’s alright! It’s okay, no sulking, we’ll try again next time, now we know what doesn’t work!” Jackson placates as the teens grumble while putting away the pieces. Jaebum, warm and a little smitten and with a soft flutter in the pit of his stomach, allows his eyes to linger on Jackson a moment longer, take in the fullness of his shiny lips, the glow of his eyes fueled by his genuine smile. Next time.

Jaebum finishes the last of his wine and sets his glass down on the coffee table. Next time? That’s the nice thing to say, it’s just en expression, gosh, this isn’t some rom-com where they’d start having family game nights or something and fall in love.

Once they’ve put away the game, Bambam and Yugyeom retreat to Yugyeom’s room to watch some late night drama. Jaebum offers to make coffee since Jackson has to drive back.

“So about the uh, _intel_ you said you got about why the boys fought,” Jackson prompts, seated at the dining table, playing with a coffee spoon.

Jaebum snorts and throws him a smile over his shoulder, only to turn away a little too quickly when he sees the way Jackson’s arm flexes as he rolls up his sleeve.

He clears his throat, “Yeah, uh, a little _bird_ told me that…well, to put it simply, it really wasn’t a big deal and they didn’t actually fight. A teacher sort of—“

“Look how _embarrassed_ they are about whatever happened though,” Jackson leans over the table as though they’re about to share the hottest gossip while Jaebum sets down the coffee pot and takes a seat at the head of the table, to Jackson’s right. “Come on, you gotta know the whole story, what happened?”

Jaebum is completely torn between how adorable Jackson looks and how delicately serious and potentially mortifying the situation is.

“Well,” he busies himself fetching sugar while looking for the right words, “I mean, they seemed very much against me telling you. Yugyeom told me about what happened, but I want to respect their wish if they don’t want me to tell you. Maybe if you ask Bambam, he’ll tell you?”

Jackson studies him, face serious and criminally handsome now. “Should I be worried? Is it something that needs like, serious addressing? Shit, I’ve gotten much better at being an adult about talking to Bambam about puberty stuff, but I’d still appreciate a heads up if—“

“No, no, no, nothing to worry about, it’s nothing like that,” Jaebum hands Jackson a cup. He squirms in his seat a little, looking for words again before giving up, “Look, they were just experimenting, okay?” Jaebum thinks he couldn’t be cringing any harder at his own words. He feels like his flesh is about to melt off of his bones and, frankly, he is more than okay with evaporating right this moment.

Jackson stares at him (still unbelievably handsome), mouth agape, “Like with each other? And a teacher caught them?!”

Jaebum shushes him, glancing towards the stairs, “No, no, it wasn’t like that! They just—You _can’t_  tell them I told you this, okay? Yugyeom won’t forgive me.”

“Alright? I can pinky swear on it if you want me to?” Jackson says and offers a pinky.

“They wanted to see what it would be like to kiss a guy,” Jaebum mumbles, followed by a long sigh. He stirs his coffee dejectedly. Why does the universe hate him?

“Oh.”

“Yeah, and they decided if someone walks by, they’d pretend to be fighting.”

There’s silence for a long minute, then Jackson lets out a high pitched laugh. He throws his head back, then claps a hand over Jaebum’s arm, nearly making him spill his coffee, “Oh my god, did they really do that? That’s ridiculous, did they actually do that?”

Jaebum finds himself smiling too despite the utter preposterity of the situation, “That’s what Yugyeom told me.”

“Oh my god, that’s so dumb, I can’t believe this, why did they decide to try that in the middle of the school?” Jackson continues giggling and shaking Jaebum’s arm. His face gets serious, curious all of a sudden again, “I wonder why they wanted to try that though, I didn’t think—Huh, I wonder if it’s because of me. I was seeing a guy on and off for a bit earlier this year.”

Jaebum watches Jackson chew on his lip thoughtfully and takes a sip of his coffee, missing the way the blond man glances at him nervously. Now or never? One shot? Fifteen seconds of insane bravery? “It’s probably not just because of you. Yugyeom knows—he knows I’m into guys too, so he might have been curious as well.”

Dropping the bomb is less painful than Jaebum expected. He accepts his fate as a perpetually tomato-colored being. Maybe he’s just numb to the mortification at this point? He doesn’t wait to find out what Jackson’s reaction might be.

“Anyway, now that we’ve discussed everything there is to discuss about _that_ , drink your coffee before it gets cold.”

“Alright, dad,” Jackson dumps one, two, three spoonfuls of sugar in his coffee and starts stirring. Jaebum can’t help but throw him glance after glance, mesmerized by how expressive his face is, twitching with every blink and flowing into little smiles, eyes widening slightly with a glint, as though in response to his every thought. His hair looks even softer now that it’s not styled back. Why is Jaebum like this?

“So you work at a university, right?” Jackson asks, a tiny smile at the corners of his gorgeous lips. Jaebum is briefly distracted, no, stupefied by the way the coffee spoon slides between those lips, turning, coming out shiny, almost giving Jaebum a semi.

“Yeah, I teach at Sungkyunkwan.”

“Yeah, Sungkyunkwan. Any scandals happen recently?” Jackson’s eyes are laughing, big and gorgeous and Jaebum finds himself huffing a laugh.

“The number of times I’ve heard that.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Jackson averts the glint in his eyes, taking another sip of his coffee. He licks his lips a couple of times after and Jaebum wonders if his house somehow turned into a sauna. His eyes follow the movement of the tip of the blond man’s tongue, the image of his own lips slotted atop Jackson’s red, shiny, supple ones very clear in his head. He takes a guilty swig of his coffee. Jackson continues, “Yeah, well, knowing from the boys that you’re a university professor, I always pictured you as some boring, old, stuck up dude in his mid-forties. Never thought Yugyeom’s dad would be so charming,” Oh.

“Or someone who made such great coffee.”

Jackson laughs a little embarrassedly and there’s a very faint flush to his cheeks, but Jaebum hardly notices any of that.

Oh.

Charming.

Oh.

Jaebum is at a complete loss about what to say.

“Was that too much? Was that weird?” Jackson laughs, embarrassed, and Jaebum’s shaking his head, mute still. Jackson touches a hand to his arm, “I’m sorry, hyung, I didn’t mean to weird you out, I’m sorry, I’m like this sometimes. I did think dinner was very delicious though! It was great! And this is coming from someone who owns restaurants and knows a bit about that stuff!’

Jaebum is probably blushing from head to toe again, but somehow his tongue comes back to life and things are – easier? “To be honest, I did try very hard with it, but Yugyeom helped a lot. I’m actually not that great in the kitchen.”

“Well, I couldn’t tell! Honestly,” Jackson leans in conspiratorially again, hand still on Jaebum’s bicep, lips, so, so close, “I’m pretty bad in the kitchen too. I’ve learned quite a bit from being the boss of a bunch of really great chefs, but Bambam and I’d be as poor as church mice if my restaurants depended on my cooking.”

Easier. It’s definitely easier from then on, for what reason Jaebum’s not sure, but it is, and a light conversation flows between the two men from then on, peppered with what something in Jaebum longs to recognize as flirting. And even though if Bambam was watching them, he’d still note that his dad is unusually awkward (but nowhere near the choppy awkwardness Jaebum was serving up earlier), they get to know each other a little. Jaebum compliments Jackson’s Korean and is a breath away from asking what other amazing things Jackson can do with that mouth. He watches with barely subtle admiration the way Jackson talks animatedly about how he made the move from Hong Kong to Korea when Bambam was only three years old, tells him about his research in film in few but quietly proud words, feels like he’s going to combust every time Jackson reveals just how touchy he likes to be around people. It’s pleasant. Jackson is pleasant. Maybe even more than pleasant.

“Okay, I better go get Bambam, we should head home, it’s been a long day,” Jackson sighs eventually, brushing his palms down his thighs. Jaebum realizes he’s been dreading the moment, but is also relieved. It can be draining, talking to (flirting with?) someone you find impossibly attractive for so long after years as a working single father whose sole most important thing is his son. “Should we exchange numbers? Here, you can put yours in my phone and I’ll text you, so you have mine. I’m sure it will be useful in the future, we can be in touch when the boys are over at either house. We should do dinner like this again too! Hey, that’s an idea! You and Yugyeomie should come to the restaurant I opened last month, it’s a Thai restaurant actually, I’m helping Bammie reconnect and all. I’ll text you about it some time!”

Jaebum can do nothing but obediently type in his number in Jackson’s phone, fingers shaking just a tiny bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all enjoying this! Feedback is always very much appreciated, I absolutely love comments!! Also, if you have any cute dad tropes you wanna see/think will fit in this fic, let me know! :]]
> 
> By the way, YugBam are about 13 in the story.


	3. I Feel Stupid, And Contagious - II

Morning finds Jaebum on his front, sprawled diagonally across the bed, face in one of the pillows and one of his arms trapped under his body. Several groans and grunts later, he manages to roll over, flopping his numb arm on top of his belly. He lifts his head up an inch to check on his crotch: he woke up with morning wood a couple of days ago for the first time in ages, but, unsurprisingly, there’s no such drama today. The world settles around him gently, sunlight filtering in through the half closed curtains, blood rushing back into his arm, the soft Saturday morning haze caressing his being. The house is silent, Yugyeom probably not up just yet.

Jaebum remembers last night with a mixture of reactions: a rush of warmth in his face and chest, a tightening of his belly, a flutter in his stomach, a subtle buzz across his skin. He remembers how warm he had felt when Jackson touched him albeit casually. A form of human touch he doesn’t lack in his life but which seems to mean so much more coming from someone as attractive and charming as Jackson. Jackson’s smiles, Jackson’s gestures, Jackson’s voice that had all made his head swim.

Why? When they meant nothing. When it was insane.

Jaebum curls on his side, pulling a pillow between his arms and legs.

It’s not like he was imagining some of the things, though. Jackson did call him charming, Jaebum remembers, a surge of warmth flushing through him. It _was_ a pleasant time, Jackson _did_ seem to be enjoying himself, even insisted that they exchange numbers.

Jaebum gazes at the almost untouched right side of the queen bed. Years ago he’d slept on his side only, but he gave in and started making both sides before sleep, finding himself sprawled across the entire bed most mornings anyway. He changes the sheets diligently every week, fluffs up the pillows, vacuums around the bed. Iseul was always adamant about personal and otherwise hygiene, and for five years Jaebum has hardly dared step out of line.

He wonders what it’d be like to have someone on that side of the bed again. In bed, with him. Someone he cares for, someone who cares for him (who isn’t Yugyeom because Yugyeom is his son who has nightmares sometimes or falls asleep in his bed after a movie night, but as nice as that is, it doesn’t count for—for this). There was that guy, some time ago now, maybe a year or so, who Jaebum took out for dinner at a decent place in Itaewon and brought home after, back when he’d very reluctantly, shyly tried dating apps. It was nice and the guy was nice, but it was just a hook up. It was awkward in the morning, not painfully so, but enough that Jaebum felt his stomach sink as he turned away from the sleeping figure next to him and stared up at the ceiling, thinking about how he was just too old to date, too wrapped up in his own life already, too—in love with his wife still. He’d changed the sheets immediately after the dude left, opening all windows wide and lighting Iseul’s favorite kind of aromatic candles later.

But now…perhaps things were different?

He finally allowed himself to imagine Jackson in bed with him, what his mind had been dancing around since he woke up. Jackson in all his smiling glory, soft hair splayed over the purple sheets, dropping corny line after corny line, maybe naked, collarbones peeking from under the comforter—

Jaebum promptly rolls over and gets up. Ignoring the way the room spins gently, he heads towards the bathroom.

After he completes a lazy bathroom routine, pausing in front of the mirror to wonder if he needs to work out more and deciding not to shave today, he pads down the short hallway to Yugyeom’s room.

“’Morning, dad,” Yugyeom greets, sitting cross-legged in bed with a sketchpad in his lap and his laptop playing soft music next to him, clearly not as asleep as Jaebum thought he would be.

Jaebum sits on the side of the bed. He yawns, glances at the sketch Yugyeom is working on. He looks sleepy and cozy.

“Want me to make something for breakfast? Or did you eat already?”

“You can make something, not too big though, unless you’re real hungry. Don’t get too fancy with your cooking skills,” Yugyeom teases and Jaebum snorts.

“Sorry we missed our lazy Friday afternoon time yesterday.”

“It’s fine, it was fun. I’m glad I could help impress your crush.”

Jaebum shakes his head with a resigned smile as his son snickers. Will he ever let him live it down? Does Jaebum want him to?

“I kind of want pancakes. You know I can make at least that. I’ve been thinking, do you think they would turn out good if I sprinkle some cocoa in the batter?”

The boy shrugs, “Hmmm, probably.”

The older man stifles another yawn, scratching at his chest, “Wanna go catch a movie tonight? Make up for yesterday. We need to do some grocery shopping too, I think.”

“What would we watch?” Yugyeom continues sketching.

“I think I saw an ad saying Captain America 3 premiered yesterday? Or we can watch something Korean, if you want. Haven’t done that in a while.”

“Ah, I just remembered, I’m playing something with some friends online in the afternoon, I don’t know how long it’ll take.”

Jaebum watches his son sketch, tilting his head, pursing his lips, applying skilled stroke after skilled stroke. He fondly flicks a finger through the boy’s bangs, “How about tomorrow then? You need any clothes or anything? Didn’t you say we gotta look for shoes?”

“Yeah, maybe a few new shirts too. I need some underwear too.”

“Alright then, let’s go shopping and then catch a movie and get dinner? Check the movie times later. You have to do all your homework before we go, though.”

Yugyeom hums an agreement. Jaebum gets up to leave and leans over to kiss the crown of his head, “I love you, son.”

 

The trouble really starts when Jaebum sits down to grade exams an hour and a half later. He unlocks his phone to turn it to silent mode and remembers the new contact in his phonebook and from then on it’s torture. Twirling a purple pen between his fingers, he tries to focus on reading a short answer response to a question about the benefits of using multiple focal points in a single scene, but his thoughts keep drifting to last night. To Jackson’s lips forming his name or sucking on the coffee spoon, stretched in a smile or calling him charming. Was Jackson flirting with him? Let’s be real here. He probably wasn’t.

But he also kind of seemed to be. Even though he’s Yugyeom’s best friend’s dad and a successful man who has _no_ business flirting with someone like Jaebum. Not to mention how…inappropriate that would be.

Jaebum shakes his head, runs his fingers through his hair and flips a page. He goes through half an hour of torturous grading, unable to focus on the exams and scoring correctly. He glances at his phone every so often, sits back in his chair with a sigh, taps his pen against his desk. Something is heavy in his chest, something is buzzing mostly unpleasantly under his skin. His thoughts stubbornly run back to last night, to every little detail about Jackson his mind absorbed like a sponge, from the subtle eyeliner making his gorgeous eyes stand out even more, to the way his voice changed expressively with every tiny change in the mood of his words. To the fact that he adopted and raised Bambam on his own, across three countries. Jaebum knows how difficult it is to raise a boy that’s just entering puberty and needs the most guidance, he can hardly imagine what it’s been like for Jackson.

It all comes down to the fact that Jaebum wants to text him. Jaebum wants to text him, ask him how he’s doing, be friends with him like the fathers of two teen best friends should be, maybe…you know, perhaps also ask him out. Ask him out, on a date, the kind of date two adults who like each other go on. Because yeah, maybe it’s a bit odd, but Jackson _was_ sort of flirting with him, a little bit at least. And—and even if he wasn’t, Jaebum, as awkward and dull of a university professor he can be, isn’t some horribly unpleasant person, Jackson seemed to be enjoying himself a lot last night. He did. And he said so himself.

Jaebum’s gaze falls on the picture of his wife he keeps on his desk and he lets out the deepest sigh for the morning, sitting back in his chair. It’s been five years, almost six, and of course he still loves Iseul. How could he not? His wife, the love of his life, the mother of his son, his one and only. It’s true, there are times when he can’t remember her voice as well, try as he might, or the way her hair smelled when he’d press his nose into it in the morning, but as terrifying as that is, Jaebum knows it’s only natural for the mind to be as fickle. He knows he’ll never stop loving Iseul, knows being with others doesn’t mean betraying her, yet...betrayal is what it feels like.

And it’s not that he’s decided to never be with anyone else. He knows that his heart might love someone else one day, that his body might enjoy many others, and that it’s okay. He knows that Yugyeom deserves a mother. A mother figure, at least, perhaps. Two parents. Is now perhaps the time to give something new a chance? Maybe Jackson is supposed to be the one that will make his heart flutter again. As much as he tries to ignore it, Jaebum knows not too deep inside he needs someone by his side, a partner, someone to love him and soak up his love. Someone to share his bed. Someone to come home to, someone to share his days with.

But to give time and attention and love to a new person, to someone other than Yugyeom, someone who isn’t Iseul – it seems almost a sin. To let someone else into this house, the home he built with Iseul. Into his bed, _their_ bed.

Jaebum runs a hand over his face and gazes at Iseul’s picture again through a curtain of wetness.

Who would want him? An almost middle-aged man with a growing son who works most of his life away and has clearly forgotten how to be around people he’s attracted to. He’s not smooth anymore, he’s not young, he’s not funny, he’s not at all what he used to be. How could he ever have thought that—

Jaebum snaps out of his self-deprecatory daze, jumps out of his chair and struts into the bathroom. He splashes his face with cold water, attempting to chase away irrational thoughts and doubts. He closes his eyes.

Once he and Yugyeom finish their lunch and Jaebum returns to his small study to grade, the vicious cycle begins again. He’s doubting himself one moment, berating himself for thinking he has a chance with anyone, let alone Jackson, someone he just met, someone as successful and attractive and confident, only to remember that he deserves to let himself be happy in that way again the next. He remembers what Iseul told him a month or two before she passed away, quiet and earnest and smiling and loving. She told him she doesn’t want him to be stubborn and the self-punishing douche he can be, that she wants him to love if love comes his way, if he needs it, if it’s going to be good for him. She’d smiled and held his hand and wiped away the stray tear in the corner of his eye and said, she’d said that she’d haunt him and kick him right between his legs if only she saw from up above he was being a stubborn ass.

With trembling fingers, Jaebum reaches up to pull out their wedding DVD from the little bookcase by his desk. He picks a scene, after their vows, during the reception – god, he couldn’t survive watching the vows, not right now – and turns up the volume a notch. The music is beautiful and a little corny, just what you would expect for an after-toast pause. The camera zooms in a little on the newlyweds, so young and in love with the world and each other. Jaebum feels like he’s in a movie as he fists his sweater, jaw clenched because Iseul in her wedding dress, smiling for him, for them, for their marriage and love, is still the most beautiful thing he’ll ever have the honor of seeing.

The videos goes on, through Jinyoung’s toast and hearty hugs (Jinyoung fourteen years ago, still single and a little too snarky), and the classic dance of the newlyweds. Jaebum a prickling heat in his nose and a tear rolls down his cheek. The Jaebum on the screen looks like the happiest man alive, bowing to his wife, offering a hand for a dance, spinning her gently, holding her and whispering god knows what in her ear as they sway to the music. Little did they know that what lay ahead was quite different from their plans.

The floorboards behind him creak and Jaebum wipes his face.

“Is that the wedding DVD?” Yugyeom asks, padding to his dad’s chair.

“Yeah.”

Yugyeom straddles one of Jaebum’s thighs and sits down. Jaebum holds him with a loose arm around his waist, trying to compose himself. The couple’s dance finishes and then there’s Iseul dancing with her brother and Jaebum watching, talking with Jinyoung until his own mother snatches him away. The camera returns to Iseul and Jaebum feels more tears streaming down his face. He notices Yugyeom throwing him an unreadable glance over his shoulder.

“She wanted you to be happy, dad,” the boy says and turns back to the computer. Jaebum nods silently to his back, wiping away more tears with his sleeve. Yugyeom doesn’t move for another minute, then gets up, hugs Jaebum tight and before Jaebum can respond properly, leaves the study.

Jaebum sighs.

He rewinds back to the dance and cries harder than he has in a while, curling into himself, breath trying to leave his lungs but trapped in there by an ocean of emotions that makes his chest feel like it’s about to combust, like his organs are about to pop out. He watches Iseul stroke her delicate, not yet calloused by years of holding the paintbrush and carving tools, fingers down his cheek and clutches the fabric of his sweatpants, choking out an agonized gasp.

Some time later, when he finally calms down, he sits back in his chair and feels his fingers tremble on top of the armrests. The collar of his shirt is damp. He feels empty, spent, but somehow rejuvenated. Slightly, at least.

Jaebum dashes to the bathroom and locks the door. He splashes his face with cold water and waits until he looks less red, almost normal, before knocking on Yugyeom’s door. The boy is playing a game on his computer, but pauses it as Jaebum sits down on his bed. For a long moment there’s silence.

“You know I’m very happy with you, right?” Jaebum asks and gets up to wrap his son in a hug before the boy can reply. He breathes in the smell of Yugyeom’s shampoo, feels his bony shoulders under his fingers. “I’m so blessed to have you.”

Iseul is gone. For better or for worse, fair or unfair, she’s gone, in the realm Jaebum functions in at least. What Jaebum had with her shaped his life in the best way he could ask for. But it’s…in the past, some of it at least, and Jaebum…can’t keep refusing to move forward, can’t keep struggling with letting go of this entirely binding commitment as he has for years now. It’s time - not to move on, not to forget her, but to continue.

He used to be dazzling and smooth and a well-desired man, Jaebum remembers as he pulls another paper from his stack. He makes a mental note to apologize to his students and ask them to check their scores for any calculation mistakes. He used to be decent at flirting, his charm was in his looks and ability to be genuine in a conversation. He’s a different man now – he’s been off the dating scene for so, so long, has seen and done so much – could Jackson really have perhaps been flirting with him? Say he was, say Jackson was attracted to him, say there was a bit of a spark between them (Jaebum’s stomach does a flip at the thought and he re-focuses on his grading briefly): can Jaebum do anything about it? Does he have it in him still to try to—court (???) Jackson?

 

A jog in the nearby park does nothing to soothe Jaebum’s nerves. If anything, it riles him up more despite the refreshing power of his little crying session. Once he’s under the shower spray, he can’t help but wrap a hand around his shaft and bite his palm when pleasure builds up in his groin and buzzes in the tips of his fingers and images of a naked and smooth and writhing under him Jackson flood his mind. He spends the rest of the afternoon figuratively flopping about like a dying fish. Part of him is ready to pick up the phone and just text Jackson and take this chance, give himself up to this exciting possibility; another picks up the phone and stares at the empty message history between his and Jackson’s numbers, the only thing there Jackson’s “It’s Jackson, this is my number!! ;P” from last night. What would he even text? _Why_ would he even text when this is totally inappropriate (for what reason, Jaebum isn’t sure anymore) and Jackson is probably busy and Jaebum texting him out of the blue like a regular – what do they call them these days, desperate fuckboys? – would be the most absurd part of his day.

Still, Jaebum’s resolve grows the longer he stews in the pot of self-doubt. He’s an accomplished, handsome man. His colleagues enjoy him, his best friend’s son thinks he’s a “really cool dad!!!”, and he regularly lectures relatively large groups of young people who also seem to at least not mind him.

He’s actually sort of focused for once, trying to fit a video sample in one of his slides and make it play at the same time as another one, when his phone buzzes. It startles him a bit, but he unlocks it without much thought, expecting a notification in his department’s group chat or one of Mark’s oddly adorable selfies with Youngjae’s dog (who Youngjae does his best to take care of diligently, but is still just a little too young to do so) or a message from his phone company.

Instead, the sender ID slaps him across the face, punches him in the stomach and shaves a good couple of years off his life: **Jackson Wang**.

While he stares at his phone and has a life crisis, it buzzes again and again, the number next to the new messages growing. Jaebum doesn’t have masochist tendencies.

 **[7:24 pm] Wang Jackson:** hi Jaebum hyung! mr Professor man phD! ^^

 **[7:25 pm] Wang Jackson:** hey so, my little brother is in town this weekend and we’re watching a movie tonight and I wanna pick something good, but i don’t know which one of these is good so I thought id ask my new friend the film studies professor! so if u could help me out man here are the options xD ><

 **[7:25 pm] Wang Jackson:** the Good, the bad and the evil, star wars the force awakens, night flight, the purple river

 **[7:26 pm] Wang Jackson:** hope im not interrupting anything too exciting in ur Saturday night! ㅋㅋㅋ :D 

Jaebum is beside himself with the vast array of emotions in his head. Jackson? Texted him? Four separate messages? That sound like a 15 year old wrote them? Asking for movie recommendations? His choices being four movies that are on absolutely different spectrums? “New friend”?

Where does he even begin to reply? Does he say hello, does he address his Saturday night, does he try to include emoji all over the place? Does he just say a movie without too much reasoning or does he explain things about each movie? Who! Would have even thought one of Jackson Wang’s movie choices would be “The Good, the Bad, and the Evil”?!

Jackson Wang, who just texted him. Jackson Wang, the platinum blond stud whose lips Jaebum wants to feel all over his body. Jackson Wang, his son’s best friend’s father.

After staring at the messages for an additional eternity, tapping his finger on the screen periodically to stop it from going dark, Jaebum finally shakes off the shock and ponders Jackson’s question. “Night Flight” is a movie he’s cautiously taught as an example of recent queer Korean cinema, but he hasn’t seen “The Purple Rivers” in ages. He’s determined to make the best movie recommendation Jackson’s ever received, to try to gauge exactly what Jackson and his brother want to watch and make sure they know exactly what kind of film each of their options is. Deciding how to begin his reply, however, is a lot more difficult. This is his chance. Jackson texted him first. Now all Jaebum has to do is be cool, be smooth, be charming, be just a tiny bit flirtatious.

Berating himself over the fact that he is even considering the possibility of flirting with Bambam’s father who he met just yesterday, Jaebum begins typing out a response.

 **[7:43 pm] Im Jaebum hyung~:** Hi Jackson! Sure, I’ll gladly try to help you decide what movie will be best for you and your brother!

 **[7:44 pm] Wang Jackson:** thanks!! ~

 **[7:45 pm] Im Jaebum hyung~:** What kind of movie were you thinking of? The choices you have are all very different movies for very different moods. Did you want something lighter, more fitting for a relaxed movie night, or something that makes you think and maybe question your place in the world? Some mystery? Or some drama? I could recommend you some other movies that are on Netflix as well.

A couple of messages go back and forth like this and Jaebum’s palms are dripping with sweat. He thinks every sentence through thoroughly and Jackson just keeps responding with these excited, smiley short texts, Jaebum just doesn’t know what to think. Cracking the window of his study open, he wills himself to put his phone down after he sends his last text about the movies. He takes a couple of deep breaths and paces around the small room for a couple of moments. His phone is, suspiciously enough, not buzzing with new messages. Jaebum leaves the room and goes to the kitchen for a glass of milk.

Will the movie question be the end of their conversation? That’s probably all Jackson needs from Jaebum. He’s exceptionally nice and quite adorable at it, but it would be unrealistic of Jaebum to think there’s anything more to his question. Now, Jaebum thinks while swirling the remaining milk in his glass, if Jaebum wants to be a good friend, if he wants to make sure this really is the beginning of a healthy, comfortable friendship between two fathers whose sons are great pals, he can try to keep the conversation going. Say something that leaves things open for Jackson to keep talking if he feels like it.

 **[8:34 pm] Wang Jackson:** thanks so much hyung!! I trust your experienced judgement, im sure we’ll enjoy the movie!

Several happy stickers showing thumbs up follow.

 **[8:36 pm] Im Jaebum hyung~:** Anytime! Let me know what you think of the film! I hope you’ve had a decent Saturday. 

Jaebum stares at the message for some time, then presses send, locks his phone and leaves it in the study to go eat ice cream with Yugyeom, perfectly aware of the fact that he will be thinking about it literally the entire damn time.

 

It’s 10:30 pm and Jaebum is making popcorn and Jackson replied, he actually replied and they’ve been texting back and forth a little. Apparently, Jackson had a very nice Saturday and is happy his brother is in Korea for a couple a days, as is Bambam. Is Jaebum making any gourmet masterpieces in the kitchen today, Jackson had wondered, and Jaebum had smiled too wide. It’s 10:30 pm and Jaebum feels a bit dazed because he has been talking to Jackson for the past couple of hours and it’s been a little effortless and a little too pleasant and now Jackson is having his movie night with his brother and Jaebum is sitting down to watch reruns of a show he and Yugyeom love, his son already under a blanket on the couch, and he is somehow kind of sure Jackson really will tell him what he thought of the movie once it’s done.

“Jackson texted me earlier,” Jaebum says during a commercial break. He grabs a handful of popcorn.

“He did? What for?” Yugyeom sounds surprised, then a devilish smile appears on his lips. “Did he ask you out on a _date_?”

Jaebum shakes his head, expression unchanging, and eats a couple of kernels, “Nope. He asked me for a movie recommendation.”

“Huh. That’s weird.”

Jaebum shrugs. Yugyeom calls a lot of things weird. The commercial break ends and he waits until the next one to bring the topic up again.

“Remember how you asked me if I’m into him?” he doesn’t look at Yugyeom this time.

“Yeah. Are you? Dad and Jackson, sitting in a tree—“

“No need to yell, it’s 11 pm. And I mean. I’m not _not_ into him,” Jaebum replies simply, cheeks burning. He hopes confiding in his son isn’t a mistake. Recently, he’s been feeling closer to the boy than he has in a long time, and telling him about this this feels…natural.

Yugyeom’s eyes widen, “Really? Seriously?! Oh my god, dad! _Dad and Jackson, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”_

Yugyeom continues singing loudly and Jaebum doesn’t stop him, blushing still and feeling like he’s 16 again.

“Don’t you dare tell anything to Bambam about this, okay? Or to Jackson. This is between you and me, alright?” Jaebum says and Yugyeom just gives him another mischievous smile. “I’m serious, Yugyeomie, please. This is…serious. I…I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, I don’t know if anything is going to happen, I don’t know if this is okay at all, but—“

“Nah, dad, it’s so cute! You got a crush! When are you gonna ask him out?”

“I don’t know when I’m gonna ask him out, but I’m telling you gain, you don’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

“Okay, yeah, I won’t. It’s fine, dad.”

They turn back to the show. There’s something pleasant humming under Jaebum’s skin.

A little after midnight, just as he finishes brushing his teeth, Jaebum’s phone buzzes. He scratches at his unshaven jaw, feeling the flutter in his belly return.

 **[12:09 am] Wang Jackson:** movie was pretty great, hyung! ^^ not what I usually like but I enjoyed it and my bro loved it, thanks for the recommendation!! Did u enjoy ur show [emojis Jaebum decides not to try decipher]

 **[12:12 am] Im Jaebum hyung~:** I’m glad I could help, this is what I’m supposed to be good at anyway! I did, Yugyeomie really loves this show. Bed time now. Good night! J

Jaebum snuggles under his covers feeling at least fifteen years younger and giddy all over.

**∞**

The world remains pink for about half an hour after Jaebum wakes up on Sunday morning to the sound of pretty insistent rain pattering against his windows. He’s gonna ask Jackson out today, he’s gonna do it. Nothing too crazy about it, he’s just going to invite him out for drinks.

Or maybe he’s not.

Not just yet.

Or ever.

Or maybe he is, right after he, you know, does morning things. Sees how Yugi’s doing like the good father he is. It’s going to be a busy afternoon that he looks forward too – hanging out with Yugyeom, catching a movie, is more than fun usually, as much as the boy’s mood swings get under his skin sometimes. He’s going to have plenty of things distracting him from thinking about whatever Jackson replies with.

And this is normal, right, this is proper, it’s fine. So what if they met just the other day? If there’s something there between them, better test it out now, as soon as possible, and move on after (whether or not Jaebum can handle having to move on is another question). He’d probably have to come across Jackson other times, so might as well get this out of the way.

Jaebum lets Yugyeom sleep in, only asking him if he has any more dirty clothes laying around the room that can be added to the laundry. He separates whites and colors and ponders what to text Jackson (the last thing between them was a “same here, good night hyung don’t let the bed bugs bite!! :3” Jackson had sent after Jaebum went to bed), what the least creepy thing is, what the most sensible way to ask him out would be, without being creepy, without making assumptions, without seeming desperate, without—Once the washing machine is on, Jaebum brews some tea and looks through his lecture slides for the week.

And, I mean, this is how it works between guys too, right? Between any two people, really? Asking each other out, that is. As far as Jaebum knows, there isn’t some special gay code of conduct when it comes to dating. Being straight-forward about it should be fine. No beating around the bush, no games, that would probably make things (more) awkward and complicate everything between two almost middle-aged men.

Jaebum scratches his chin. He wonders if doing it over text is too disrespectful. On the other hand, he really doesn’t think he could handle actually speaking to Jackson and asking him out, nor does he think it’s safe. Who knows where Jackson might be when he picks up the phone. Jaebum doesn’t want Yugyeom to really hear either.

Jackson brought wine. Jackson was smiley and so, so nice the entire evening. Jackson repeatedly said he’d enjoyed the dinner, that he’d enjoyed meeting Jaebum. He called Jaebum charming. It’s all Jaebum needs to remember right now. He needn’t think about how, yeah, he used to be a handsome charmer, but he’d been out of the game for years and he is just a college professor who—

Half an hour before he and Yugyeom get in their small car and head towards a nearby mall, Jaebum picks up his phone and texts Jackson.

 **[4:05 pm] Im Jaebum hyung~:** Hey Jackson,

Jaebum presses the ‘send’ button accidentally and curses under his breath, continuing to type.

 **[4:07 pm] Wang Jackson:** whatsup hyung!

 **[4:10 pm] Im Jaebum hyung~:** I know we met only the other day (which is more than odd with our sons being best friends), and I don’t mean to try and make things weird between the two of us, but I was wondering If perhaps you would like to go out to dinner with me, or just to get a drink?

 **[4:10 pm] Im Jaebum hyung~:** And I do mean as in on a date.

 **[4:11 pm] Wang Jackson:** sure, hyung!! I would love to! [thumbs up dog sticker]

 **[4:11 pm] Im Jaebum hyung~:** I would completely understand if you said no. No hard feelings.

 **[4:12 pm] Wang Jackson:** when/where do you wanna do it? did you have a place in mind?

 **[4:12 pm] Im Jaebum hyung~:** Oh! Great then!

Jaebum’s heart has stopped completely. His palms are still producing sweat, his fingers are still trembling, but he has positively died. With superhuman effort, he swallows thickly and scrambles to put together a reply, realizing that no, he didn’t actually have a place or time in mind. Several breathless minutes later, he suggests a place and time and finally becomes aware of the vibrating warmth in his chest. A couple more texts later, interrupted by Jaebum getting dressed and urging Yugyeom to get ready as well, and Jaebum reluctantly agrees to a “more _fun_ date, something to bring us out of our dull, bleak middle aged dad lives”.

 

“Dad, we’re in the middle of the mall, I don’t wanna hold your hand, I’m not _five_ anymore!” Yugyeom hisses and Jaebum hides an amused smile.

“You hold your grandpa’s hand, why not mine? Come on, are you that embarrassed by your poor old dad?” his tone is almost pleading, frustrating Yugyeom further to Jaebum’s amusement.

“Grandpa is _old_ , it’s okay to hold his hand.”

Jaebum feels his phone vibrate and nudges his son with his shoulder while pulling it out.

 **[6:49 pm] Wang Jackson:** yeah that’ll work! ^^ my guess is we’re not taking the boys with us? do u wanna drop Yugyeomie off at my place since its closer to the studio

 **[6:50 pm] Wang Jackson:** im sure he and bambam will find something to do

 **[6:50 pm] Wang Jackson:** are we gonna tell them it’s a date? :D

They decide to be vague about where they’re going, not really telling their sons their fathers are going on a date at a make-your-own-pottery studio (the less-dad date venue Jackson suggested and Jaebum smiled sadly about). Jaebum knew Yugyeom might guess and he decided not to lie to him but still try to keep things vague. If things work out, if there’s a “next time” after the date, he’ll have plenty of time to come up with a way to break it to his son.

Over the week leading up to their date (a _date._ an actual date???), Jaebum and Jackson text back and forth a couple of times a day, keeping up small talk and getting to know each other one line at a time. Jackson is always so nice and responsive and funny, but Jaebum holds back a little, maybe even more than a little, because well – you know, they just met, they’re both busy men, they shouldnt be texting like high school crushes their sons are best friendsandthishoulfdntgetoutofcontrol—

The day comes and Jaebum is so jittery that he spills his morning tea all over his light jacket, he _actually_ spills his tea, Dr. Im Jaebum, the always smooth and dazzling and composed star of his department. He gives himself a fifteen minute pep talk on the small armchair in his office that naturally flows into a slightly relaxing nap. And then his office hours are over and he is driving home and ignoring Yugyeom’s teasing questions and almost having a stroke over what to wear, even though he’d tried to think about it before.

Is it rude to be tipsy on a first date (first! _date!!!_ )? Probably. But as no amount of deep breathing helps stop the shaking in Jaebum’s hands or the frantic beat of his heart, he digs out a half-empty bottle of vodka and downs half a shot. He washes it down with a glass of water and one of the Special Pink and Green rice cakes in the back of the fridge which both he and Yugyeom adore, so they try to limit themselves in how much they eat a day. Grabbing his car keys and calling up at Yugyeom, Jaebum hopes his careful measures and calculations were right and the effects of the vodka would not spread beyond the quiet warmth soothing his nerves.

Yugyeom is pleasantly chatty on the way to Jackson and Bambam’s house, telling his dad about how some of his favorite classes have been going, about the upcoming rehearsals for their dance group’s next show. It eases Jaebum’s thoughts away from what’s about to happen. He asks the boy about his sculpting lessons and carefully observes Yugyeom forcing himself to sound excited about the most recent classes. Yugyeom decided to start taking sculpting lessons a year and a half ago, a means of staying connected to his late mother. As much as Jaebum can see it’s turning into more of a burden, he doesn’t have the heart to try to discourage the boy from continuing.

And then they arrive. Jaebum’s picked Yugyeom up from Bambam’s place a couple of times in the past but never lingered, never thought about the place too much – never thought about Bambam’s dad too much either, the man who opens the door for them, the man who looks so comfortable and confident in his sweater and tight, _tight_ jeans, the man who hugs Jaebum warmly. Jackson’s arms wrap around Jaebum’s shoulders almost naturally, the blond man having to stand on his tip toes just a tiny bit before Jaebum leans in to accommodate for their height difference, and it’s suddenly easy for Jaebum. It’s okay. He hugs back just as earnestly, not missing the way Jackson lingers a second longer. Jackson smells like that caramel? chocolate? scented cologne Jaebum remembers and gives Jaebum an excited, charming smile. And Jaebum is okay.

Jackson looks delightful. Jaebum had forgotten how breathtakingly beautiful he is in person, even though Jackson had sent him a couple of selfies out of nowhere a few times while they were texting back and forth. It’s okay. The half shot of vodka has long since worn off, but Jaebum realizes he doesn’t need it anyway. Things are crisp and clear around him and he feels okay, he truly does, thrilled to be going out on an actual date with such a gorgeous person, confident in his own outfit, the earrings he placed back in the almost closing holes in his ears, his voice as he holds the door open for Jackson to get in the car and playfully says, in English, _Mr. Wang, after you._

The drive to the studio, tucked against the side of a building with questionable architecture, is relatively short. Jackson somehow manages to give directions, almost get them lost _and_ flirt with Jaebum all at the same time. Jaebum keeps throwing him small smiles. His hands look very attractive on the steering wheel, apparently, just right for claywork, and apparently his button down stretches over his arms so right that Jackson uses every chance he gets to wrap his fingers around the older man’s bicep.

 

“Listen, you have to be _bolder_ ,” Jackson says, leaning into Jaebum and looking over the roughly vase-shaped piece of clay in his hands. “You gotta really get your fingers in there.”

“Yeah?” Jaebum meets Jackson’s playful gaze.

“Yeah! Gotta stroke that clay just right, makes for the best arches.”

Jaebum nods in understanding, “Yeah? Like this?” He strokes his fingers over the inside curve of his vase rhythmically, smoothing over the clay and deepening the angle of the arch with every push of his strong fingers, in and out, in and out, his eyes meeting Jackson’s shamelessly as he bites his lip.

Making and decorating pots with Jackson is more fun than Jaebum could have imagined. The fact that he can feel an actual spark, an actual _connection_ even between the two of them delights him so much he almost doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“Let me buy you a drink? I saw a little place down the street on the way here, I think it was a bistro or something,” Jaebum suggests with a disarming smile once they’re done painting only slightly inappropriate or cheesy things for each other on their pottery. They exit the studio and Jaebum holds the door for Jackson, his hand briefly resting on the blond man’s lower back. He’s aware of their height difference as they walk, shoulders bumping. He feels at ease, warm, calm.

The small corner bistro is not too crowded when they walk in. A gentle red and yellow glow bathes wooden tables, the smell of beer in the air. As Jackson walks ahead towards the table they chose, Jaebum takes his time ogling his thick thighs and fantastic ass. Jackson throws him a smile over his shoulder, acknowledging Jaebum’s appreciation, and the older man responds alike, walking over and helping him with his coat.

It turns out that both men are way hungrier than they thought. Fifteen minutes after walking in, the two are chatting quietly over several steaming dishes. Jaebum watches the natural twinkle in Jackson’s eyes and considers just how thankful he is that the date is going so well, that Jackson is so funny and gorgeous, that his own heartbeat isn’t too far out of control. His smile doesn’t leave his face for a moment as he listens to Jackson describe an incredible arrangement of cheese dishes he and Bambam had on a trip they took to Taiwan. Somehow naturally, his large palm finds its way to rest on top of Jackson’s, thumb rubbing a knuckle gently. Despite the loud beat of his heart, Jaebum is calm. Happy.

“Is this weird? Going to restaurants that aren’t yours” Jaebum frowns a smidge. “I hope this is not weird.”

“Not at all!” Jackson shakes his head, stuffing another fry in his mouth. “I love exploring food places! A won or two in the pockets of the competition is really not that big of a deal. Plus, it gives me ideas for my own places.”

Jaebum smiles, feeling the press of Jackson’s thumb on his own palm. He can hardly get over the adorable way Jackson pauses every now and then, maybe licks his lips criminally out of habit, to think about the right Korean words. Their conversation flows as they stretch a couple of glasses of wine, peppered with flirtatious comments. Jackson talks about his restaurant business, the different kinds of places he owns and his inspiration for them. All grins and wild gestures, he opens up easily with stories of his childhood in Hong Kong. The two men bond over some of the struggles of single dad life, Jackson expanding on juggling a business and taking care of a growing boy all on his own. Jaebum considers asking him more about how Bambam came into his life, but decides to leave that for next time (stomach doing flips at the thought of a future date), so he lets Jackson continue with hilarious stories of Bambam’s childhood. Fondness and admiration sparkle in Jaebum’s eyes. His features are sharp and beautiful and mesmerizing and a similar smitten warmth resounds inside Jackson.

Little by little, Jaebum opens up about his own struggles as a lonely father. In choppy sentences and quiet confessions, he tells Jackson about how he and Yugyeom hardly got back on their feet after Iseul’s passing, especially with medical expenses still to cover and his own inner devastation preventing him from going back to work. During a pause in Jaebum’s recount, Jackson asks, very carefully and concernedly, about Iseul’s death in vague terms, following up with multiple assurances that Jaebum should answer only if he’s comfortable doing so.

Reluctantly, after a deep breath, Jaebum mentions Iseul’s tumor and how quickly it took her away. His gaze is on his plate when he feels Jackson’s hand finding his own and tangling their fingers together. It’s odd, holding hands with one of the most stunning people you’ve seen in a while as you tell them about your dead wife, but it’s not terrible. Jaebum feels almost relieved to be telling someone other than the therapist he sees occasionally. Talking about Yugyeom’s sorrow is the most painful part, so he skips over it almost entirely, instead focusing more on the things that helped him stay sane and not have to move back in with his parents. Light returns to his face when he tells Jackson, to Jackson’s gentle caress of his knuckles, about his workshops on Korean film history, running international film festivals and cooperating with the university’s queer alliance group. His voice goes quieter at the last part, cheeks dusting pink and darkening when Jackson says just how amazing he thinks Jaebum’s strength is.

When dessert arrives and it’s simple and overflowing with strawberries, Jackson’s face is the definition of radiant and Jaebum squeezes his hand before turning to his own plate. Casual flirt returns to their small talk. Jaebum foots the bill and the two men take the short walk to Jaebum’s car, Jackson using every opportunity he gets to once more stroke a palm down Jaebum’s chest and wrap his fingers around his bicep. And even though Jaebum is a little too nervous to take the step of holding his arm around Jackson’s waist, their knuckles brush at all times.

It’s a comfortably quiet drive home. At one point, Jaebum turns up the radio to a song Jackson recognizes as INFINITE’s “The Chaser” and sways in his seat, giving Jackson a very serious and pointed look. Jackson laughs and joins in and later expresses his surprise about Jaebum enjoying that kind of music.

“It’s old school style K-Pop,” Jaebum says, throwing him another very serious look that cracks the blond man up. “God, Jackson, live a little.”

The street is quiet when Jaebum pulls into a miraculously empty parking spot right in front of the gate. All the lights are on in the house and Jackson remarks that he’ll have to reason with Bambam about turning them off again.

Jackson laughs a little, “The irregular cut on my side of the lawn is an artistic choice.”

Jaebum smiles lazily, barely tearing his eyes off of Jackson to glance at the lawn. He reaches over to slot his fingers between Jackson’s on the younger man’s thigh, “Before we go in—“

“You mean before we have to explain ourselves to—“

“Can I kiss you?”

Jackson’s expression changes immediately. He bites his lip as his eyes flick to Jaebum’s mouth. A moment later, he leans in, eyelashes fluttering slowly. He pauses for a second and then presses their lips together. Jaebum moves, tilting his head the other way for another kiss. Jackson’s lips are soft, pliant, giving, so much more than Jaebum thought they would be. They hold the kiss for a long, long moment before breaking apart with only a couple of centimeters between their faces. Jaebum’s eyes are still closed as he lets out a deep breath. His skin burns.

Jaebum looks nothing short of dazed when they part. His vision is almost blurry, but the squeeze of Jackson’s fingers that have somehow found their way up between his grounds him. He licks his lips. The air inside his car is almost too hot to breathe.

“Let’s do this again?” he asks, straight to the point, voice raspy, eyes soft but piercing.

“What, the kiss? Or the date?” Jackson makes an innocent face.

Jaebum leans in and kisses him again and Jackson’s palm comes up to his jaw, warm and soft.

“Both,” Jaebum whispers against the blond man’s lips.

“Couldn’t say no to that.”

A light drizzle starts outside as Jaebum and Jackson exit the car. They’re both thrumming with something great as they walk in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who's left kudos and takes the time to comment!!! Feedback and comments are what keep me going, so thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know if you do! Again, if you have any dad tropes you wanna see in this, I'll be more than glad to consider them!
> 
> Then, my summer job started - I work at a summer camp, so I'm gone for days at a time and I'm really not sure when I'll have time to write and update. My focus will be on the a/b/o fic next, though I'll be trying to write a bit of this too. I hope it's not too long before I can post something! Thanks for bearing with me!


	4. Here we are now, Entertain us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> takes places about a year and a half from the previous chapter, at Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is a Christmas chapter which is soooo late but i think it's worth it! it's basically a spoiler for how things work out between Jaebum and Jackson, but i think y'all knew i wouldn't let this story have a sad ending. this is a flash forward. i'm also terribly horribly sorry for how long it's taking me to update my two long stories! i'm very sorry. i'm trying to gget my shit together and finish a chapter to the a/b/o fic i promise. i'm just a horribly busy person.

On Christmas Day, Jackson wakes up at exactly 9:01 AM, bright and more rested than he should be after only six hours of sleep. His upper arms are exposed to the chilly air in the bedroom – Jaebum’s bedroom, he remembers – fingers holding the soft duvet. He quickly buries them back under and turns to see Jaebum’s peaceful sleeping face. A worn out grandpa, Jackson thinks with a smile. Last night was a drawn out, exceptionally pleasant ride. Jackson is still beautifully sore, and he smoothens a hand down his chest to inside his boxers, humming and stretching sweetly.

Now, though, is time to get _up_ and unpack _presents_ and be _MERRY_!

“Jaebum! Hyung!” Jackson whisper-yells, shifting onto his knees on the bed and shaking his partner, “Get up, hyung! Merry Christmas! Time to see if Santa came last night! _Hyung!_ ”

Jaebum doesn’t bother even with a groan, shrugging Jackson off and turning onto his stomach, face buried in his pillow. Jackson’s face is a picture of indignation.

“ _Hyung!”_ he straddles Jaebum’s ass and begins to shake him with his entire body and merciless holiday cheer, “Come _on_! The kids are probably up already, do you want them to start unpacking without us?!”

Jaebum flings an arm backwards, swatting at Jackson’s waist. Jackson yelps, but manages to stay mostly out of the way, continuing his nagging.

“Fine!” Jaebum groans at last, sinking deeper into the sheets. His eyes hurt. No way is he missing out on a nap this afternoon. “Fine, I’m up, let’s go.”

“Finally! Where are my—“

“Actually, wait, wait, hold on a second,” Jaebum says, actually starting to flip over. He rises on an elbow, joints creaking, and reaches into his bedside drawer. “Before we go to the living room. For the more unsafe for work part.”

He produces a folded gift bag, simple black and surprisingly heavy, and hands it to Jackson with a suspicious blush creeping down his bare chest. Jackson throws him a curious, almost confused, but clearly excited glance. He scoots closer on the bed and carefully takes the bag. Jaebum rests back on his pillow, arm under his head. His bicep bulges beautifully, but Jackson is more intrigued by the box inside the bag. It’s wrapped in a loose bow. Jackson tugs it untied.

Inside the box is a stubby black butt plug with a wide base and a control pad on it. Its surface is smooth and velvety. It looks a lot like many late Saturday nights from Jackson’s future. Nestled in the smaller compartment of the box lined with white cloth is a small square black device with rounded edges. It’s single button matches those on the dildo and is next to a small knob. Jackson’s mouth falls open even wider when he sees it.

“Is that--?!” he mock whispers, face pulled in exaggerated (or maybe not so exaggerated, this little remote really is pretty amazing) disbelief.

“Merry Christmas,” Jaebum says and smiles a little. His blush is deeper now, but he’s also very clearly pleased with Jackson’s reaction. Next thing he knows, Jackson’s lips are one his and a palm is pressing on his crotch.

“Fuck, sorry,” Jackson pulls his hand away as abruptly as he landed it there in the first place. “I couldn’t help myself. Merry Christmas, alright! Wow! Does it have batteries?”

“No, you charge it. I charged it already.”

Jackson presses one of the buttons, and surely enough the plug begins to vibrate in his hands. He presses his fingers to it here and there, studying it with awe. Jaebum is getting a little too turned on, but he can’t bring himself to say anything.

“Mark…?”

“Yeah. He managed to save us one, gave me a discount too. He offered some other things too, but I told him we’d wait till next month.”

“Shit, feel that, it’s like little marbles moving around,” Jackson says and Jaebum nods with a smile. Jackson kisses him again, lingering and more tender this time. Jaebum’s hand rests on Jackson’s waist. “I really wanna try it. Hand me the lube.”

“Now?” Jaebum asks and Jackson is already pulling his boxers off. “Jackson, no. You’re not wearing it around the house with the kids here!”

“BUT—“

“Jackson! No.” Jaebum can hardly believe the suggestion.

Jackson’s looking at him with a pleading expression, boxers half way down his thighs, though his smile is peeking through.

“Fine, but you know the remote is basically _your_ present, right?”

A few minutes later, after they’ve shared a few more kisses and the plug is stashed away securely, Jackson pulls on a sweater and heads out. Jaebum, having been given five more minutes to roll around in bed, watches Jackson’s reindeer-boxers clad ass disappear though the door. He lets out a breath he’s been holding for a while. His heart is suddenly thudding very loudly in his chest. The ceiling holds no answers, but he stares at it as he lets a wave a warmth wash over him.

Asking Jackson and Bambam to stay over around the Christmas holidays was the right choice. It’s a heck of a change. From trying to lock all emotions away as soon as the time to buy a Christmas tree comes, to sitting with Yugyeom alone at the kitchen table on Christmas Eve, waking up alone on Christmas morning, seeing Yugi grow and go from asking for the coolest toy robots to settling for a book or new ballet shoes, even though he would love a new phone or video game console. To shopping for presents for the kids with Jackson, helping decorate the Wangs’ Christmas tree (he and Yugi decorated theirs on their own, since Jackson and Bambam were visiting family in Hong Kong early so they could spend Christmas in Seoul), and waking up to Jackson’s toned body filling the entire bed with warmth.

Last year, his relationship with Jackson was only just starting to take shape around Christmastime. It was the first time in years that Jaebum felt a tingle of hope, excitement for something so close to his heart. Yet there was a ton of apprehension too. Things were complicated.

And now Jackson is a constant presence in his life, now Bambam calls him “Dad” every so often as a joke, though Jaebum can see he’s trying to weigh the taste of the word on his tongue. Now, his Christmas Eve featured Jackson’s muffled moans by his ear. Now, he knows, feels Iseul’s approval.

Jaebum’s heart beats even faster, and he buries himself under the covers again.

 

Jackson pads across the hallway in the morning stillness. The entire house is perfectly silent, of course, and he heads over to Yugyeom’s room to wake up the boys. A wave of stale air hits him when he cracks the door open. There’s a slowly rising and falling lump of comforter and sheets on the bed. On the floor, Bambam is sprawled diagonally on the blow up mattress, covers thrown across his middle. He’s very clearly naked – Jackson has no doubts he isn’t even wearing underwear. The room is almost a sauna since they boys haven’t turned the heat down. Bambam’s always been a fan of prancing around naked whenever inspiration hits him and once he learned Jaebum is just an older version of him in that respect, he quickly grew comfortable shedding his clothes around the Im house too.

Bambam and Yugyeom’s friendship has shifted in interesting ways. Jackson and Jaebum can only see a bit of that shift, but in its entirety, it’s brought the two boys even closer than they already were. They’re at the age where friendship bonds like theirs are crucial; their fathers dating, the odd gradual joining of their households has helped them open up to each other even more, trust the other like a brother. Bambam pushes Yugyeom to work harder in school despite how much trouble he’s having with some of his classes, and keeps reminding him of the future after graduation. In turn, Yugyeom is there for Bambam as he struggles to understand his body and what it likes, clothes wise or affection wise. They’ve kept it from their fathers well, but Bambam’s fleeting and unclear relationship with his male Chemistry lab partner has been a source for much anxiety in the Thai boy’s life. Life at fourteen is always tumultuous.

It takes more yelling and shaking on Jackson’s part than anticipated to wake the boys up, but amid ceaseless streams of groans and complaints, they finally rise. Jackson gives them a few minutes to roll out of bed, while he pads to the kitchen to get some water. He flips the hot water kettle switch on with tea in mind, and moves to the living room.

The colorful soft glow of the Christmas tree bathes half the room. The other half is lit up by the light streaming in from the windows. There isn’t a ton of snow outside, but it’s still falling gently. There are a small number of packets tucked under the tree and propped on the couch. Some of them Jackson asked one of his hostesses to wrap. Others are an exciting mystery. And then there’s a tall, potted plant with several bows tied or taped on it. Jackson grins and plops down in an armchair just as Jaebum walks into the room.

Jaebum’s taken Jackson’s criticism of his Christmas spirit to heart and changed into green boxers with a Christmas hats print as well as his simple red sweater with Christmas motifs. He’s washed up and combed his hair and he takes Jackson’s breath away a little bit when his fingers graze under his chin, lift it a tad to allow Jaebum to kiss him with warmth and love. Jaebum settles on the couch, handsome and soft.

“Did you wake them up?” he asks.

“Yeah, they’re—There they are,” Jackson replies, hearing Yugyeom’s door open and the boys’ voices travel down to the first floor. “I wonder who asked Santa for that plant over there.”

Jaebum shrugs mysteriously.

Gift giving and unpacking goes smoothly. An atmosphere of warmth surrounds the four men, of holiday domesticity – the kind you sometimes, when you’re lucky, get around the holidays, even though you’ve been expecting a glorified Christmas feeling that you think you remember having years ago. For all of them, this is new, something to get used to, something that is promising and that they want to hold on to. For Jaebum especially, it’s anxiety inducing too, having a partner, someone he loves on an important family occasion like Christmas. Jackson is radiant and bursting with affection and so different from Iseul, yet part of it feels like rediscovering something precious and warm. The rest is novel and so reassuring.

Turns out that the plant is for Jackson. He promptly acts surprised and flattered as soon as Jaebum hands it to him, and Jaebum’s grin in reaction to the theatrical display is disgustingly fond.

“I know you were adamant about a puppy, but for reasons I’m not going to repeat, that’s not possible right now,” Jaebum explains while Bambam helps Yugyeom unpack the wireless headphones Jackson got him. “So here’s another live thing you can take care of. Show your great fatherly skills.”

Jaebum opens his gift from Jackson to find a new pair of exquisite shoes. They’re brown faux leather (can’t support animal torture), pointy tips and all. He falls in love with them immediately and wears them around the house for the rest of the day to break them in. He sneaks a grateful kiss when the boys aren’t looking and doesn’t let go of Jackson’s hand for a while.

The rest of the day is spent cooking and panicking. Jinyoung and his husband, Mark, are coming over with their son, Youngjae, and Jackson somehow convinced Jaebum that the four of them (Yugyeom and Bambam included) can definitely pull together a great dinner (and if they can’t, Jackson has warned the kitchen at the one restaurant he keeps open on Christmas they might be getting an extra order). Laptops and cookbooks are all over, along with a myriad spice jars, knives, and products in various stages of preparation. When Jackson accidentally sprinkles a piece of meat with cinnamon, Jaebum brings out the teacher voice and everyone freezes. Within five minutes, the entire kitchen is back in order, everything sorted according to meal, utensils washed and counters cleaned. The boys have been chased out until Jackson and Jaebum finish preparing the simpler appetizers and side dishes.

“This is pretty new for us, you know,” Jackson starts as he holds the roll of plastic wrap for Jaebum to cover one of the dishes. “Like, spending the holidays with someone else. Well, not with someone else, I meant that—We’ve always spent our holidays with family in Hong Kong, you know, my parents, extended family…We definitely never felt alone, but still, it was the two of us _and_ our extended family. And now, this…” Jaebum watches Jackson blush as he leans on the counter. Flutters make his stomach clench. “I don’t know, it’s very different and new, but I think we’re both loving it. It’s…I mean, it’s a—a family Christmas, right?”

He’s almost beat red now, seems torn between glancing at Jaebum and busying himself with cleaning up the countertop. Finally, he sets the roll of plastic wrap in its box and turns to look at his boyfriend with an awkward smile.

Jaebum can think of at least eleven things to say, but he deems them all too corny for the moment, so he simply pulls Jackson into a hug. He presses a kiss to his forehead.

Still, a little later, after a struggle with the pork belly, the older hands Jackson a hand towel and begins, “Yugyeomie…he has his own way of processing things, but for me it’s definitely a change too and I’m really glad you’re here too, you and Bambam, I’m really relieved. I feel really—I don’t know, I’m happy, the house feels fuller and warmer,” he flicks a crumb off the counter and shrugs. Suddenly, he leans in and kisses the corner of Jackson’s mouth.

While dinner is in the oven, the boys run off to Yugyeom’s room to enjoy some video games after exasperatedly promising Jaebum they’ll come down and spend some time with their fathers later. Jackson finds a blanket and makes a nest for himself on the couch. He’s found a movie to watch on TV when Jaebum comes to join him, book in hand. The older’s put on a button down under his sweater since the house tends to be cold despite the heating. He settles next to Jackson, throws an arm around him and puts on his reading glasses. Teacher gear.

Jackson keeps throwing him glances and snuggling closer. They sit pressed together for a long while, Jackson watching his movie and Jaebum reading, pausing every now and then to follow the movie or to press a kiss to Jackson’s head. At some point, acknowledging Jackson’s glances, he says, close to Jackson’s ear, _You’re not doing well in my class at all, Mr. Wang, I think you need to do some extra credit_ and Jackson gets a raging boner.

 

“Uncle Mark, your coolness is being challenged!” Yugyeom proclaims as Jinyoung and Mark take their shoes and coats off. Everyone is crowded in or around the parlor, and little Youngjae is already bouncy, “Jackson is letting me and Bam drink too!”

“Is he really?” Mark grins. He helps Youngjae take his scarf off, “I know Jackson, always wants to be number one.”

 When all the hugs and greetings are done, the men head off towards the dining table and the kids run up the stairs to drop off their gifts in Yugyeom’s room.

“Oh wow! Yeah, this is definitely good!” Jackson exclaims, after taking a sip of the wine the guests brought. Jaebum fills his own glass and closes the bottle, taking the lead on a toast.

Their gasses clink together and Jinyoung settles back in his chair. His arm rests on the back of Mark’s chair again, fingers dancing absently upon the older’s back. He’s wearing a light turtleneck, while Mark has a simple, soft looking black sweater on. Its long sleeves engulf his hands half the time.

“So what happened this morning?” Mark asks Jackson. “Did you get your puppy?”

Jackson swallows the wine in his mouth and sends Jaebum an expectant, burning glare instead.

“I don’t know why you keep encouraging him like that, you know no one here can take care of a pet. I got him a plant instead,” Jaebum explains, glancing smugly at his partner.

“I don’t see that surviving too long, either,” Jinyoung pipes in and Jackson is wounded again.

“Come on, he’d gotten so into the idea you might get him a puppy,” Mark waves a hand. “He was in and out that pet store across the shop almost every day.”

As the proud owner of a successful sex store – or “pleasure merchant” as he refers to himself sometimes, despite Jinyoung’s protests that the title implies a different kind of service – Mark sees a lot of what happens on his floor of the mall. He doesn’t man the register anymore, but still hangs out around the store whenever he can, talks to customers and makes sure everything is the way it should be running. “In the Name of Love” offers a huge variety of items pertaining to a healthy sexual life, from toys to leather products and a collection of lubricants; it’s inclusive of preferences and sexual lifestyles, and it features several sections of products of use for trans people, including packers and non-sexual items. Every month Mark brings educators to hold queer health education sessions in a safe space, and many of the shelves in his store are dedicated to sex education books. And per Jinyoung’s insistence, hardly any professional porn can be found in the shop.

“Let me live!” Jackson whines, looking down with an embarrassed smile. “You know that dreamy cashier with the bleached hair really gets to me. He always smiles at me too…”

Jaebum is suddenly very interested in the conversation, turning to Jackson with a questioning grimace and a badly hidden smile.

“Who, Seokjin? He’s gay and taken, you know that, right?” Jinyoung supplies helpful intell as usual.

“I know, I know, I saw his partner helping him close one time…”

“Oh well, you know, good thing you at least have me to come to every now and then, even though I’m old and not dreamy like your crush,” Jaebum prods and Jackson immediately latches to his arm to beg for forgiveness.

“What about you two, what dusty volume on existential discourse did you get him this time?” Jaebum asks Mark, nodding towards Jinyoung.

“He’s got a new obsession, didn’t he tell you? Playing checkers with Youngjae got him into board games I guess. I got him some overpriced game with dragons and dwarves,” Mark grins at the way Jinyoung digs around the salad on his plate and reaches over to massage his neck affectionately.

“It wasn’t the one I wanted, but I forgave him cause he’s handsome and promised to play with me,” Jinyoung flips the situation to his advantage. Mark shrugs innocently and leans in for a kiss that Jinyoung happily grants.

After successfully vacuuming their plates of the main course and seconds, Bambam and Yugyeom disappear up the stairs again. They promise Youngjae not to start the movie they’ve been watching without him, as the little one needs a little more help with his dinner. Once he’s done, however, he wastes no time climbing up to the second floor too. The hyungs are always surprisingly patient with him and seem to enjoy playing with him at least half the time when the family is over. They to love Coco too, whenever she tags along with her five year old dad.

The three boys finish the movie they’ve been watching and turn their attention to other things. Yugyeom digs around in the back of his wardrobe and brings out a sack of knock off brand construction blocks which Youngjae takes immediate interest in. He needs help stabilizing a few towers, then decides to try building a castle.

“Did you know my dad is a hero because every day he does injections in his leg,” Youngjae says nonchalantly as he adds the last couple of blocks to one of the walls of the castle. They’ve been silent for a while, so Bambam turns away confusedly from the TV, but Yugyeom is just nodding with a smile. Youngjae continues, “He’s very brave. He needs the injection shootings because he was born different from how he is now and he needs medicine to help him stay healthy and happy.”

Bambam is beyond perplexed. He elbows Yugyeom with a wildly questioning look, but Yugyeom just smacks him back and shushes him. When Bambam hits him again and mouths a “what?!”, Yugyeom shoots him an exasperated look and leans to whisper in his ear.

“Uncle Mark is transgender! I’ll explain later, can you stop being annoying?!”

A couple of thoughtful minutes later, Bambam opens his mouth again, “Honestly, we take such good care of Youngjae, I think Jaebum hyung should’ve gotten Daddy a puppy and we would’ve helped take care of it.”

 

“Hold on, I didn’t realize you didn’t come here straight out of college,” Jackson sets his fork down and reaches for his napkin, glancing at Mark.

“He came here for Jinyoungie,” Jaebum shocks Jackson from where he and Jinyoung are fiddling with the extra side dishes Mark prepared.

“What! Star crossed lovers?!”

“More like Jinyoungie couldn’t live without me, so he was considering leaving his job and coming to the US, but I saved him from the stupid decision,” Mark says, grinning at his husband.

Jackson is looking between them in exaggerated shock. When Jaebum sits back down next to him, he pushes his mouth closed with a finger.

“Well, how did you meet then?!”

Jinyoung hums, ever the teasing mysterious asshole, and looks at Mark.

“Jinyoungie came to California on some sort of a conference,” the oldest says. “I was desperate and on Grindr. I saw his nerdy faceless picture and thought I’d send a ‘hello’ cause his suit looked nice.”

“It was one of my first conferences where I was presenting. I was really nervous and had to focus on work, but I also couldn’t pass up on an opportunity to scope out the local queer scene and be more open about my preferences.”

Mark watches him with a fond gleam in his eye, continuing with his mouth full of kimbap, “He replied eventually and we decided to meet up. Even though he had this really mysterious way of taking and I was a bit scared he’d turn out to be a murderer, but the pictures he sent me were really cute, so I decided to go for it.”

“My English wasn’t great al all back then, okay!”

“No, it wasn’t just your English, you just liked playing all hard to get,” Mark says, his hand resting on Jinyoung’s knee while Jinyoung rests his around Mark’s shoulders again. Jackson watches them with fascination and Jaebum watches _him_ fondly, “So he tells me to meet him in the lobby of some fancy hotel where he was staying. It was kind of far for me, but his dick pics were pretty good too.”

Jinyoung smacks Mark and scoots away with his entire chair. Jackson is absolutely elated, clutching at his heart and smacking Jaebum’s arm with his other hand.

“So I’m waiting in the lobby and there was some like grand stairwell coming down. And I’m looking over and I suddenly see him. He’s wearing this grey pressed suit – I think it was grey, I’m not very sure after all this time – but anyway, it’s an incredible suit and it fits him _so_ well. He’s got this skinny tie and even a fucking tie clip. He’s walking down the stairs and talking to someone next to him, and he’s got his hands behind his back,” Mark is pretty animate at this point of his story, explaining to Jackson and Jaebum, but also smiling at Jinyoung. “In that instant, I thanked all higher powers I’d come, I was so ready to—“

“Shut—“ Jinyoung smacks Mark again and manhandles him to press his hand over his laughing mouth.

“Okay, okay, okay. Point is, we had a really good time. We were both into each other almost from the get go, I’d say?”

“We were,” Jinyoung says begrudgingly. He takes a sip of his wine, “I see him sitting in one of the lobby armchairs and he’s all – I don’t even know, I was so confused because I hadn’t expected him to come to a date dressed in a leather jacket and white dress shirt with his hair all styled and everything.”

“You wore a suit!”

“I had just come out of a seminar! You came looking like a model at a photoshoot! But yeah, we had a good time. I was severely underprepared for one of my presentations as a result, but anyway, here we are, all these years later.”

Everyone is silent for a while as Jackson, stunned, digests the story.

“So you’re telling me you actually met on Grindr and here you are, married with a kid?!”

“I feel like we didn’t meet in the most conventional way either. Eat your food,” Jaebum chimes in and dinner goes on.

 

 

The mattress bounces a bit under Jackson’s weight as he throws himself on the bed. He wiggles under the covers with a satisfied sigh. Jaebum is already there, broad and relaxed and warm. Jackson wastes no time before snuggling up to him. He wraps an arm around his chest and lays his head on a pec for a second, before pulling away to nestle his face in his partner’s neck. Jaebum is happy to look away from the TV to slide an arm under Jackson and pull him even closer.

“Today was nice,” Jackson says a couple of minutes later. Jaebum’s been casually pressing his lips to Jackson’s forehead in the mean time. “Dinner was actually pretty far from being a disaster. And I think Mark and Jinyoungie really enjoyed themselves too.”

Jaebum hums in agreement. It’s not the first time they’re talking like this, here, in bed, about their days, or something they did together; it’s not the first time they’re talking like this, like a family. Still, even after almost a year, Jaebum hasn’t gotten fully used to it. In a way, he hopes he never does. Jackson weight in his arms is a comfort that lulls his mind.

“What did you think of that fried rice though? I think I really outdid myself there, Jinyoung said so himself,” Jackson wiggles proudly in Jaebum’s embrace and the older smiles.

“It was a little too salty, but everything else was definitely great. Loved the…texture,” Jaebum rumbles. Jackson tries to elbow him without malice. He’s clearly glowing a bit at the praise though. He takes a few deep breaths, inhaling the familiar aroma of Jaebum’s sleeping shirt. “Are you sniffing me again?”

Jackson’s eyes go big and sheepish and he tips up to kiss Jaebum. It starts out slow and sweet, the slide of their lips together maybe even playful. Jaebum exhales through his nose and it sounds almost relieved. He shifts a bit to be able to hold Jackson better. He tastes like the kiwis he had before going to bed. The kiss hardly deepens, struggles to become more than simply loving and indulgent, even though Jackson moans when Jaebum’s tongue grazes his and responds in kind. When they finally part, Jackson is almost entirely on top of Jaebum, their fingers are interlocked on top of the older’s chest, and Jackson’s lips are wonderfully red and shiny.

Jaebum’s heart thuds away again. Looking at Jackson like this sometimes, at how gorgeous and lovable he is, his handsome face which signs of his age only complement, makes Jaebum think he should get his heart checked out – he’s getting old and frail, what if one day Jackson is too much. Jaebum holds no illusions about his own appearance. He knows time has spared him more than most his age who have been through what he has, yet he’s well aware he’s winning no beauty pageants. Plenty of gray sprinkles his temples, while the wrinkles in his forehead, around his mouth and eyes arrived longer ago than he can remember. He gets up to pee every night around 3 am like clockwork and he needs to get his kidneys checked out. So to have Jackson look at him with so much affection, to have Jackson gasp and whimper under him – maybe not every night, but at least once a week – is a blessing Jaebum can hardly understand but is grateful for every day.

“You looked great today,” Jaebum says.

Jackson perks up immediately, “Really? How great?”

Jaebum grunts a little at Jackson’s body wiggling on top his. He slides his hands down to cup Jackson’s ass and slips his thumbs in the legs of his boxers, “Really great. Your hair was on point. Your jeans were great for your ass. You looked soft but sexy, somewhat of a lovely househusband. ‘A minus’ outfit overall.”

“’A minus’?!” Jackson is outraged. Jaebum’s thumbs keep brushing the skin of his ass and he has to hold his man down as he tries to theatrically roll away, “I don’t see what was imperfect about my outfit!”

“Nothing imperfect, it was great, I just didn’t like that other people had to see you looking so cute.”

Jackson is appeased and blushing. He kisses Jaebum again, and Jaebum’s hand comes to cup his jaw. The kiss does its best to flare up and start something, bring about some proper Christmas lovemaking; alas, it is interrupted by a yawn.

“I’m sorry,” Jackson’s head drops in the crook of Jaebum’s neck. Jaebum laughs quietly and wraps his arms around him.

“No, I feel you, I definitely feel that,” he admits, tucking a few kisses into Jackson’s hair. “I probably couldn’t get it up if I tried right now.”

A corny action movie is on TV. The effects are pretty impressive, and the two decide to watch it just for those, but both fall asleep. When Jackson opens his eyes again, the main characters have almost rescued the other main character. Jackson’s never felt more like a dad in his life. He’s warm and cozy and never wants to leave this bed and Jaebum’s arms.

“Babe,” he whispers, shifting out of Jaebum’s embrace to settle properly on his pillow. Jaebum hardly opens his eyes. He blindly presses a few buttons on the TV remote until he’s able to turn it off

 

 

The plug ends up getting its trial run a few days later when the boys are spending the day over at a classmate’s house and Jackson spends two wonderfully torturous hours doing household chores with the toy stretching and massaging at his hole. He’s a mess of moans and whimpers and nearly passes out when Jaebum is finally pounding into him. He’s holding Jackson down, his large hand on Jackson’s neck, and fucking his tight ass in long, hard thrusts, just minutes after he’s been sloppily eating him out like his life depended on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback and thoughts are always appreciated and thank you so much for reading!!! jinyoung's outfit from when he and mark met:  
> http://68.media.tumblr.com/9cefe3ad6968fb9d9e4c343f2082b64d/tumblr_ojidy76AWV1qfgjluo1_500.jpg

**Author's Note:**

> feedback, comments and kudos are very much appreciated!!! the rating and tags will be updated as we go. 
> 
>  
> 
> [here i am on tumblr](http://kingjoffrrey.tumblr.com)


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